My DS17 started seeing girl in his year about 10 months ago. All fine to start with. E get in with her parents. Allowed them to stay over etc. But as things began to return to normal over the summer it became apparent she was very controlling. She’s one of the “cool” kids DS is on the fringes/crossover between cool and sporty. As the parties started he would be invited only for her to have him uninvited because she didn’t want him there. I now know this was due to her increasing drug use and his disapproval. His sport is strict about drug use and he has very clear boundaries about smoking and drug use despite both FH and I being smokers. He tolerated smoking but when she started using let and cocaine he wasn’t happy. Without drugs and alcohol she is a lovely girl but becomes a nightmare when using.
Now here is the dilemma. He finished with her a few weeks ago, he’d had enough but she begged him to take her back only to finish with him a few days later. I think it was a face saving exercise since when he finished with her she begged him to ask me not to tell her mum.
Anyway lots of bickering in the lead up to the end of term then once they were not surrounded by the “friends” everything settled. They were talking and being friends again. DS was looking forward to NYE party and a fun night, instead she played up massively having taken drugs and a lot of alcohol. She had arranged to stay with us but when I collected DS she had decided to go to a friends. DS sobbed all the way home, so upset because she had claimed he had screamed at her etc etc.
Over the last couple of months the only screaming has been done by here, she has threatened suicide and DS despite wanting out has been very concerned about her. He has made me promise not to say anything but as a parent I would be really upset if DS was spirally into a serious drug habit and another parent didn’t express concern.
I’m after good advice from mn. Do I contact ex gf parents or do I just support DS in trying to go NV.