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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Pregnancy

15 replies

Mairyhinge · 29/12/2021 14:55

Hi so my 19yr old ds and his girlfriend are expecting. 🙄😫
Anyway I'm looking for advice as to what help they can get? Housing? Benefits? They can stay here but it's not really feasible long term.
I have absolutely no idea what to advise and what can happen.
He's hoping to start a career soon but she doesn't work ( another thread altogether).
Thanks for any help forthcoming 💕

OP posts:
TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 15:45

Try citizens advice?

pinkyredrose · 29/12/2021 15:46

Why can't they sort themselves out?

Original poster
Mairyhinge · 29/12/2021 16:04

@pinkyredrose

Why can't they sort themselves out?
They can, I'm just looking for where they could get help and advice, as you know, being his mother and caring. I wondered if anyone who'd been in the same position might have some advice. Or I could just boot them both out and tell them to 'sort themselves out' 🙄
OP posts:
Bettybantz · 29/12/2021 16:06

I’d second citizens advice. They can claim UC (may already be doing) and will probably have to find a private rental, so they will need to start saving for a deposit.
Their midwife will be able to offer advice too.

TinyLittlePandaSneeze · 29/12/2021 16:09

Yeah I would suggest he gets started on his career pronto they are going to need the cash. She might be able to pick up a temp job while she waits to have baby?

Vegetalienne · 29/12/2021 16:14

This website may help:

www.familylives.org.uk/advice/your-family/parenting/where-can-young-parents-go-for-support/

The midwife should also be able to provide them with information.

Trinxsy · 29/12/2021 16:15

Hi OP. I was 19 when I gave birth to DS 3 years ago. Partner works full time and I worked part time at the time. Only 8 hours a week for me but enough to start saving for baby things.

We also claim UC as a wage top up as both on min wage and we get help with childcare.

I was kicked out and made homeless by my mother and unfortunately, council were unable to house us so we lived with my MIL for around 6 months whilst we saved enough for a housing deposit.

Citizens advice will be able to tell you all they are eligible for.

Original poster
Mairyhinge · 29/12/2021 16:23

@Trinxsy

Hi OP. I was 19 when I gave birth to DS 3 years ago. Partner works full time and I worked part time at the time. Only 8 hours a week for me but enough to start saving for baby things.

We also claim UC as a wage top up as both on min wage and we get help with childcare.

I was kicked out and made homeless by my mother and unfortunately, council were unable to house us so we lived with my MIL for around 6 months whilst we saved enough for a housing deposit.

Citizens advice will be able to tell you all they are eligible for.

Thank you that's very helpful. I'm sorry you were kicked out, but sounds like you've turned yourself round.
OP posts:
Original poster
Mairyhinge · 29/12/2021 16:24

He's just waiting to hear from references and then should be good to start his job.
I'm grateful for your helpful replies and I'll check out that website @Vegetalienne

OP posts:
Vegetalienne · 29/12/2021 16:42

He's just waiting to hear from references and then should be good to start his job.

I hope all goes well for him with the job. 🤞

YorkshireIndie · 29/12/2021 18:38

There is a calculator online called entitled to which will outline what they are entitled to. Is there a baby bank near you? You can be referred to it by midwives

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 29/12/2021 18:41

We helped ds and his gf get a HA flat to start. Helped provide furniture etc. Few bits second hand. Few new. Decorated a bedroom for dgc... Gave full support...never nothing less..

Abcdefu · 29/12/2021 18:43

They are lucky to have you. Advise citizen advice,living with you to save money,and you (if in the position) putting away a bit every month to help them initially until on their feet with baby atuff / house stuff

Original poster
Mairyhinge · 29/12/2021 21:14

@Santahatesbraisedcabbage I agree with you, total support ( despite my tears and disappointment), and we will do all we can to help
@Abcdefu thank you, I would never turn my back on my child, he will be saving up now for a deposit.
Thank you all for the helpful comments.

OP posts:
DoucheCanoe · 29/12/2021 21:31

I had our eldest when we were 19/20 and lived with my Mum.

DH worked full time and I worked part time whilst studying in the evenings. My mum's house was overcrowded (8 people in a 3 bed) so we were able to get on the local housing list and got our own HA property when he was 3 months old. My Mum had to write a letter saying that we'd have to leave due to the overcrowding but she wouldn't actually have put us out!

I ended up giving up my job once my studies were complete as it didn't pay well, we got tax credits top ups on DH wage (now UC) and child benefit until I went back to work PT when DS was 1.

Not sure if it's still relevant but we got a £500 maternity grant as we were on a low income to help with things for the baby along with Healthy Start vouchers throughout pregnancy until he was 1.

It wasn't always easy our eldest is 15 now and we both pay our way with a little to spare although we won't ever manager to get on the property ladder but we've made our peace with that! The best thing you can do is support them in the choices they make so you're already in the right path by the sounds of it Smile

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