Sorry for the long message but I hope you can help.
My DD isn’t a trouble maker, it’s doing fine at school, has typical friend ups and downs, a boyfriend that she sees once or twice a week. She’s sensible and does share her feelings.
However she is just coasting through life and I think it’s my fault. She does nothing around the house, we have a new puppy of her breed choice and she rarely interacts with him, she now forces all her tone in her room on her phone or watching Netflix - so far so teen! But the heartbreaking thing is she is a talented sports person - she has the opportunity to be great abs she tells people that’s what she wants to do, but she does nothing about it. At the moment she’s getting by on innate ability but her peers are practising and putting in the work and frankly she has no chance of making it. We don’t nag her to practice, we get her coaching, offer to take her whenever she wants to practice. I work full time and I’m doing a masters and I drop everything if she wants to do something.
My husband offers to work with her (as he has competed in his youth but a slightly different sport) but we get a reluctant OK.
We were both pushed as children and are determined not to do that to her. So this really isn’t about us expecting something or living through her. It’s objectively looking at what she could achieve, listen to her say it’s what she wants, hear so many people encourage her but watch her do nothing about it.
Do we just let her mess up this chance she has? Should we expect more? I’m so lost abs frankly exhausted trying to navigate this. I hate confrontation so never argue or Moab at her but it’s getting me down