16 year old anxiety and depression

[Sylvester77]

Hi, I am just looking for some advice regarding my 16 year old son. He stated to suffer really badly with anxiety and has dropped out of college due to panic attacks. We have been to GP, who advised CAMHS, who signposted us to Turning Point due to his age but all they have offered is a group session so we decided to pay private counselling but he's refusing to go after one session.

At the beginning of the week he's home alone and is becoming really low to the point where I think he could start with depression. He doesn't want to do anything. The only thing he wants to do is see his friends but this is usually only on a weekend. I am worried sick about him, as I don't know how he's going to get out of this while he won't accept help. He's distanced himself from his family and just wants to be alone. He says he is really bored!
He is a really good sensitive kid and it is breaking my heart to see him like this.
Does anyone have advice. I am really struggling with it all, I can't sleep and am on the verge of taking sick leave from work as I am getting where I don't want to leave him! Thanks in advance.

What is his diet like? The reason I ask is that there's been a lot of new medical research into something called the "gut brain" recently and proof that what we eat can affect our mental health strongly.

My DD is 17 and from the age of around 15 had anxiety, panic attacks and depression.

I read about the gut brain connection and stopped all processed foods...literally not one piece of processed food gets into our home any more.

This research is coming out of proper scientific institutions...it's not a faddy, hippie idea or anything like that.

The result of the changes I've made is that DD has slowly but surely recovered and isn't recognisable as that worried, sad kid any longer.

It's not realistic obviously to keep EVERY child away from processed junk food....especially when they go out. But I've explained it all to my DD and she makes a concerted effort to eat very healthily now.

If you want meal ideas, let me know. And snack ideas. I also got DD tested for vitamin deficiencies and she had a quite severe shortage of vitamin D and we were prescribed tablets for that. There's a link about Gut Brain connection below.
www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-brain-gut-connection

DD15 has suffered from anxiety for several years and has just been diagnosed with ASD (probably related, but not the reason I am posting).

We had to wait a LONG time for her diagnosis so in the meantime I paid privately for several different therapists (not at the same time) as she didn't engage with any of them. She has now been seeing an art therapist for 6mths who is making a huge difference. Perhaps if your son was offered a non-traditional therapist (as in not just talking about yourself for an hour) he might be more inclined to participate?

Another thing we did was decide on spending an hour together every week just watching crap tv and chatting about rubbish. DD always seems to feel better just spending time doing not very much at all (as opposed to making dinner or doing dishes or helping with homework), but the fact that its built in to the week and its time just for us has helped. And to be honest its never just one hour - we get engaged in conversation and realise we have been chatting for hours. But it took a while to get there - persistence is key.

I hope this helps - it is truly soul destroying when your child suffers from anxiety and you feel like you can't help them. I really do sympathise.

Thank you both.

His diet is not brilliant in that he's not eating much of anything at the moment but we do cook a lot and don't eat much in the way of processed food. I'll have a look though.

We do have family time and we regularly go for walks together although he started not wanting to do this just lately but I will persevere.

I've just had a look at his phone, whilst he's asleep. I wouldn't usually but I'm so worried. He has spoken to his friend and has mentioned suicide. I can't believe I'm typing this. I'm going to speak to him and the GP again tomorrow but I don't want him to know I've looked at his phone as he will change the code and I feel it's the only way I know what's going on in his head. I feel sick.

I have a 17yo who has been suffering since around the start of the pandemic.

• counselling by zoom?
• GP for beta blockers for panic attacks?
• ?? anti-depressants, but will need a private psychiatrist
• mandatory fresh air every day

What kind of anxiety?

I definitely think the pandemic has had an effect on him. Social anxiety mainly although he has no self confidence and is overthinking everything. We have tried private counselling face to face but he says she is focusing too much on his future rather than how he's feeling now. Now he's not at college, he's not having the panic attacks so GP won't give him anything. I would be willing for him to start meds but not sure can afford a private psychiatrist. Definitely lots of fresh air, he's much worse on the days we work and he's on his own all day and then in the evening it's hard to get him to leave his room but I am going to take some time off work so I will make sure he goes out every day

Sylvester, I saw a private pyschiatrist. It was £230. He was quite a senior one.

Thank you, was that per session and how does the prescription work?

That was per session. It might have been a bit more for the initial session where they take a history.

He just sends the details to GP and they write the prescription.

Hth.

Our private psych was ~£240 first time then £200 for follow ups.
First prescription had to be paid for then follow ups on NHS. DD was in a terrible state, poor sleep, nightmares, terrified to go anywhere etc, no joy in anything.

Has he tried grounding techniques for anxiety such as breathing or 54321 technique?

I'm wondering whether going to private psych route you could try private CBT?

He gets 3 years for 6th form so can restart next Sept.

Yes we have tried grounding techniques, they worked previously but he won't even entertain them.now. I think there is a hint of teenage hormones in all of this. I think I need to look for another CBT counsellor as the last one didn't work out. It's getting him to agree though. He has agreed to CAMHS though so maybe. It is hard to find the right one though. College can wait, we're not putting pressure on him there. He can go back to education anytime. Thank you