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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Feeling like it's my fault

1 reply

Eastend123 · 23/11/2021 17:15

Hi. I am new here so please bare with me
I suffer really bad with ocd intrusive thoughts and one of my main ones is that I am an awful mum.
Anyway my daughter is 16 and I'd struggling at the moment with school and feeling like she is missing out on teen experiences. She knows alot of people but only has 1 really good friend who works alot so doesn't see alot of her.
She is normally a very big character and doesn't really worry to much about things... unlike me.
Anyway today she came out of school and we had a heart to heart and she said this is how she is feeling. I know from seeing her recently doing things she does enjoy that when she is doing these things she is happy ...but in-between she isn't. I am getting concerned that she may be depressed. I have asked her if she wants to see someone and she said no she isn't that bad

I love my daughter with all my heart and barely do anything for myself. I am obviously worried about her but then my ocd kicks in and I have this overwhelming thought that it is my fault because I am the way I am. I just took myself off for a cry in the bathroom. I feel like I can't cope with worrying about her....which in turn makes me feel selfish . Like I said I would do anything to help her but also feel very bogged down with dealing with my ocd and never really doing anything for myself ....I feel like if I need an hour or 2 then I am letting her down as she will be sat on her room doing nothing
Sorry just needed to offload
Many thanks

OP posts:
Strawberry33 · 03/12/2021 12:37

Hugs Op I see you posted this a while ago and people haven’t really seen it. I think we all beat ourselves up needlessly. Teens are so hard. For what it’s worth I think most teens do a great job at impersonating mental illness of various kinds- that’s not to betlittle it but I really think it’s the stage they go through- teen angst it used to be called.
Just be there for her if she needs but don’t feel guilty about spending a couple of hours doing what you need to stay sane.. she can’t find something to do for a while if she wants to.
Xx

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