Hello all,
Bit of a delicate issue and I am not sure of the best way to deal with it.
My DS (14) has a close friendship with a girl at school who leans on him quite heavily for mental health support, and uses emotional blackmail to get his attention all the time. This has led to him having some really dark thoughts and negative behaviours including stopping eating when around her, and self harm/attempted suicide - I should say this is not the only reason, but it is a constant negative issue in his life that needs to change.
Both myself and the school can see the correlation between his low moods/struggles and being with this girl. He obviously doesn't see it as clearly as this, and still insists that she has nothing to do with his problems, although he acknowledges he would like to try and spend less time facetiming and messaging her. School say she doesn't seem to want to change her behaviours and be more positive and is cross when they try and help her. My DS is engaging with help and CAMHS.
This weekend he has nicely said to her in messages that he doesn't feel like chatting, he is busy, he hopes she is ok etc etc. She is constantly messaging him, asking him to message back and then when he does, she says it doesn't matter anymore. She then calls him and hangs up before he can answer, so he then contacts her back. She tells him she has no one else she can speak to.
What are my options? Leave things and trust the process, trust he can continue to be strong and distance himself? Block him from speaking to her at all (he won't do this anyway but its an option)? Or do I try and speak with her parents and get their help? This is risky, I don't know them or know if they are on the same page as I am about this issue.
Any advice would be amazing, and much appreciated. I am driving myself mad thinking what I should or should not be doing to help him.
I should add that school have so far tried to move him away as much as possible from her in the day, and have put support in place for her as well. We, as a family, are filling his days and evenings with as much activity as he can tolerate. Sometimes he just wants to play online gaming with his mates without her constantly seeing he is online and sending him messages.