What chores / jobs does your 14year old do if any?

[jugglingjobs]

my dd is 14 and she is so lazy, she dries the dishes, sometimes without arguing sometimes with lots of arguing.

I ask her to put away her own clothes after I have washed them or ask her to empty the washing machine and put clothes in the dryer.

I'm a single mum so it is just us here and it really annoys me when she leaves sweet wrappers etc where she is sitting, her room is a mess and she wants to sit down all day while i do everything!

I know most teens are like this so I'm not expecting her to clean the whole house but just wondering what others teens do to help if anything?

At that age mine all cooked the evening meal once a week. The ones that weren't cooking - one had to load the dishwasher and one had to set the table / get everyone a drink.
If there's only two of you then a lot less work so maybe cooking a couple of times a week ?
I was surprised, once mine started doing this, how much more they appreciated / less they moaned at any meal put in front of them (plus of course it gave them skills they can't believe how many flatmates lack, at University).
I would give them some autonomy over their own room though - shut the door on that and leave them to it. Same with clothes - I used to leave my dc's clothes outside their room - up to them if they hung them up or not / put them away tidily or not, but then it was their problem if they couldn't find something / something got spilled/ it got creased, etc.

Empty dishwasher
Strip bed
Dust and hoover bedroom
Clean bathroom
Sort clean pants and socks into piles and put away

No set chores, my 14 dd does jobs as and when I ask her to chip in. She does her own washing, but i usually sort getting it dry. She cooks 1 night a week. A few dog walks, dishwasher, putting away food shop, that kind of thing. No whinging as yet! We have a fairplay rule where if she needs me to do something for her - ie lifts to friends, she then repays my time with say bathroom cleaning or something. Works for us so far!

Anything when asked. He's 13.
His daily job is to take the rubbish out, and once a week hoover and polish inside the car.
Then....
He can be asked to unload or reload the dishwasher.
He can put his washing in the machine and turn it on.
Put washing on the line, or bring in.
Dust.
Strip and change his bedding.
Walks the dog, feeds the dog and cats.

Empty/load dishwasher
Strip bed and put in machine (forgets to take out and dry)
Remakes bed
Own laundry (wash, hang on airer, put away)
Irons school trousers (we have non iron shirts)
Walks/feeds dog
Keeps room tidy
Makes own breakfast/lunch at weekend (Porridge or omelette/pizza type things)
Will help chop veg/stir things when dinner is being made
Puts out recycling /bins
Vacuum
Clean inside of windows (when we do it, probably once a year 😳🤣)

He doesn't do everything all the time and needs encouraged to remember, but does most willingly. Havent managed to get him to do the bathroom yet but working on it 🤣

Tidy rooms (set timer)
Dog walks
Kids cook Friday
Anyone who doesn’t put plates in the dishwasher will be shot
Put clothes in bathroom laundry bags or they won’t get washed
Put clothes away when washed (we stick them on their beds)

Random chores when they need doing eg put away washing/hang up washing /hoover/ clear sitting room after guests (set timer - always helps)

We are lucky enough to have a cleaner, I do get them to strip their beds for her (though I don’t do mine..)

What I find helps is

• appreciating their Friday cooking (it has got better.. we clear up after which they appreciate.. and they get a sense of what it’s like to make a real effort)
• no allowance if they don’t do their stuff
• occasional bursts of violence eg throwing a pile of dirty clothes out of the front door.

Cooks dinner (earns a weekly allowance)
Makes porridge for breakfast
Dishwasher - loading / emptying
Washing machine - same
Light tidy of room
Cutting lawn
Starting to iron own uniform
Strip/ make bed
Most importantly…can make a blinding cuppa

Mine are younger but do the sorts of things others describe. They do it to help to say move along.

Anyone eating sweets and not putting wrappers in the bin doesn't eat more sweets. That one is easy!

Washing up
Basic cooking
All own prep for school, including packed lunch
Own ironing
Changes bed
Hoovering
General tidying
Cleans bathroom

None of these are on a rota except washing up, they just help.

My response to moaning has always been 'we either share jobs like a family or move to a houseshare model and you can do your own stuff' which luckily shut them up.

Empty/load dishwasher
Clear up after dinner
Empty/take bins/recycling out
Clean bedroom
Change own sheets

My 14yo also helped paint her room recently

When asked (I don’t ask on days she’s super busy, or out the house for 13 hours):
Empty and reload dishwasher
Make a meal (simple dishes I’ve taught her)
Do the bin / recycling / food waste
Mow the lawn (small garden, so about same time as doing the dishwasher)
Tidy - I’m training her to spot mess, it’s a process!
Put a wash on, hang it to dry, put it away
Clear up after any meal I’ve cooked

Her 10yo sister does all these, except the meals (I’m teaching her, she does things like peel veg and get ingredients for me) and the grass. Though she’s still a bit rubbish at hanging up laundry so it actually dries.

Ds
Walk dog (moans)
Mows Lawn in summer
Brings plates etc down
Dd
Walk dog
Cleans en suite (hers)
Occasionally cleans room

Both do dishwasher very occasionally

I need
To get them
Doing more.

My lazy 15 and 13 hardly do anything by comparison to these posts. They empty the dishwasher at least once sometimes twice a day and tidy their rooms at the weekend when shouted at by my husband. Also they are supposed to put away their clothes but the eldest generally"puts them away" on her floor with all the other clothes .....

Occasionally they take the bins out if asked, or help tidy up downstairs but generally that's it. I tried to get in a habit of getting them to take turns helping with cooking but it's a case of, it's actually easier and quicker to do it myself. I realize this is making a rod for y own back though but don't know how to get out of the deadlock.

My 14 year old has no specific chores, I expect him to tidy up after himself. He's off school with a stomach bug at the moment, and he's taken it upon himself to clean the bathroom and the room he shares with his brother, for his friends who were going to come over on Saturday. They can't now as his brother's self-isolating.

Reading with interest. Dd puts her clean clothes away. Just sent this to dh to read. We are getting a new car so my thought after reading throng some of the chores is to get her to clean that inside weekly. And she could clean the outside too, couldn’t she in the summer?!

Mine aren't allowed to eat in their rooms, therefore I don't have to worry about mouldy plates or crumbs attracting mice etc. This is IMO key to a harmonious relationship with teens, because it means its possible to say that their rooms are completely up to them - never ever tidy or clean a NT teen's room for them, but also never, ever nag them to do it. Their own room is their own responsibility and you don't get involved.

Washing gets washed if its in the basket but you never ever concern yourself with washing which might land on their floordrobe...

My three (11, 14, 16) do the dishwasher and kitchen and outside bins on a rota which they police between themselves.

They clean out the guinepigs together (a condition of getting them two years ago which they've never broken).

They all put their own laundry away (we have a basket each - we're lucky and have a utility room, so baskets stay in there until they carry theirs up).

They bring their own dirty laundry or communal laundry if they put theirs in there down after emptying their clean basket.

16 year old mostly does her own laundry asshe likes it straight away, but doesn't have to - if she puts it in the communal laundry she gets it when I've had a chance to do it.

They can all operate the washing machine and 14 year old washes his team's sports kit when its our family's turn - no earthly reason this should be anyone else's job.

I work shifts and when I'm on a late either the 14 and 10 year olds cook together (they get on really well) or 16 year old cooks, or DH cooks. Its not set in stone but depends on the meal - the younger two specialise in home made pizza and things from the freezer with home made chips... basically cooking gives you power to overrule the meal plan, so has appeal...

Oh yes one of the kids usually mows the lawn in summer - oddly they all like doing that (cordless mower) and usually if DH says that the lawn needs mowing one of them just does it.

They also put the supermarket shopping away - again whoever is in just does it, with the perk of usually finding something delicious to eat after...

The older two do some vehicle maintenance with DH but that's not really a chore, more something that they need to be competent at, so education!

Empties dishwasher.
Sweeps and mops kitchen, living room and hall floors.
Sets the table.
Cleans and dusts own room - they always forget to do this but if I remind them and give them a timer, they do it.
Take clean clothes upstairs and put away.

They used to cook but we've fallen out of that habit. We need to restart it.

For everyone that said their dc cook what sort of meals do / did your dc cook at this age? My dd only cooks pasta, with a sauce from a jar. She has made spag bowl before but I find I have to help out and guide her if shes making something like this.

@EenyMeenyMinyNo - ohhh i like the thing where your dd repays your time if you help her out. I wonder if i could start getting this going.

@rrhuth - sometimes when I'm very annoyed with my dd i stop doing things for her like cooking and she lives off pasta, i guess thats my version of shared house

@ShortDaze - interesting you said about spotting mess, my dd does not seem to notice when anything is untidy and when I am moaning that the place is a mess she says no it's not

@JKDinomum - i feel the same about the cooking being easier for me to do than making dd do it, firstly she will moan alot, but also when she does any cooking she makes loads of mess as I clean up after her she isn't bothered how much mess she makes. She doesn't even clean the worktops ever

@TheLovelinessOfDemons wow your son cleaned the bathroom and his bedroom when he was unwell, he sounds great

For everyone that said their dc cook what sort of meals do / did your dc cook at this age?

Anything they fancied.
Part of the motivation was so I only had to cook one evening meal during the working week, yes, but part of it was to teach them to become independent young adults and ready to live independently when the time came. So I said to mine that they could cook what they wanted as long as they looked up the ingredients and put them on the shopping list before I did the shop.....once or twice they did, but they soon learned to make things with the ingredients we had in. So, when we started doing it, my youngest was only 9, so she did something easy - maybe something that just had to go on an oven tray and not need much "making" would be her day, then gradually things like spag bol were usually made each week by one of them, as they learned it is a pretty adaptable dish which you can add, or miss out the odd ingredient and still make a nice meal. Sometimes they would look up a recipe, or sometimes experiment a bit - again, dishes like a curry are pretty forgiving of some flexibility.
Re the mess, yes, two of mine were quite messy initially, but I just see that as something to work on as they get more experienced. You have to go through a bit of 'pain' when learning anything. You have to listen to the screeching noises before they get to play an instrument beautifully. You have to take them swimming and have all the hassle when you need to dry and dress them and go in with them, before they get to a stage of swimming alone, etc etc etc - it is just the same, something they are learning, which will get better with practice.

jugglingjobs if she's not interested in cooking then chopping up potatoes and vegetables (carrots as a minimum, ideally whatever other vegetables she likes) and rolling them in a bowl if oil, salt and pepper, with chicken thighs similarly rolled in the oil after the veg, then putting them in the oven at 180° for a hour = fairly healthy tray bake/ roast dinner.

My boys (10 and 14) do that, similar but replace the chicken thighs with anything from the freezer - fish fingers, sausages, schnitzel.

They also do "home made" pizza with ready made bases, or burgers with frozen burger patties.

Its easy stuff but some variety and some nutritional value though obviously far from perfect - at least the chips/ roast potatoes/ wedges are chopped potato not frozen (I tell myself)!

My daughter (16) can cook anything - she's a really good cook and already was by 14. If she had a friend over at that age they'd often cook from a recipe, and the same at friends' houses. She doesn't always want to cook after a full day though, just like the rest of us! Her go to is quiche using ready made pastry.

Whoever cooks always cooks for the whole family in the evening, though lunch is a free for all.

OP I’ve had to train dd to see mess, it’s not innate. But I ask her to do a ‘mum look’ and see what she can spot that needs doing. Sometimes I give clues Then a lot of praise for spotting it and dealing with it. She still doesn’t automatically tidy, but she’s getting quite good at spotting what needs doing if I ask her to. I think it’s a life skill!