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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How much internet freedom do you allow a 15 year old?

13 replies

PandaP0p · 20/11/2021 11:33

This is a just turned 15 year old.

Do you allow any phones in bedrooms overnight? I have a strict policy of phones out at night during the week from about 10.30pm but have recently started allowing him to have his phone / iPad in his room overnight at the weekends only. Trying to get him to self regulate etc as he gets older

What's your stance on it?

OP posts:
PandaP0p · 20/11/2021 11:34

I should add he's watching films, charting to friends, watching YouTube, playing games etc. The usual

OP posts:
Brewandhoney · 20/11/2021 11:38

How is he doing with the self regulation at weekends? Does he go outside etc away from screens too?

Ducksurprise · 20/11/2021 11:38

I get vilified on here but I don't allow phones in bedroom overnight until they are paying their own contract (so 18) it is the number 1 request from our school, its far too easy to watch one more video.
Other than that I have Internet protection at home that I know is not foolproof but I don't check their history, checking at 15 doesn't stop bad things happening it just means they get good at hiding things.

Mybalconyiscracking · 20/11/2021 11:42

Mine have always had their’s. No issues!

MoiraNotRuby · 20/11/2021 11:43

Honestly? My teenagers have complete Internet and gadget freedom and have done for a few years, down to Stbxh. I would have preferred to have a lot more restrictions.

They are 15 and 16 and we have had no dramas/issues as a result but I still worry. Hopefully they will turn out ok and mentally healthy, but if you can avoid taking the risk, do it.

Pinkchocolate · 20/11/2021 11:44

Mine have their overnight and I’ve never had an issue with it. My reasoning is that if they’re stupid enough to go on it through the night then they’ll feel it the next day and won’t repeat.

Kikkomam · 20/11/2021 11:44

Dd15 has unrestricted access to her phone but puts it on do not disturb at about 10pm and so far today its still on do not disturb. She seems really sensible. Her life doesn't revolve around her phone though.

Tittyfilarious81 · 20/11/2021 11:52

My DS has unrestricted access and I don't take his phone off him overnight but that's because I think he needs to be able to regulate himself if he's tired in the morning when he gets up for school because he stayed on his phone that's the consequences

apinions · 20/11/2021 11:57

I can't self regulate with my phone, so I definitely don't expect a 15 yr old to. Phones are so addictive, and I guess it's down to individual personalities too. And how active they are on social media. Mine doesn't have his in his room overnight, and I have parental control on the WiFi.

SteggySawUs · 20/11/2021 11:58

Phones downstairs at night until they're paying their own contract.
I'm more concerned about porn, bullying and general mental health issues from the constant input than I am about tiredness.
In the old days we walked away from friendship dramas when we got home, now it spills over into your home life, and the your private bedroom if you take your phone in there. It's healthy to mentally turn off and step away.

BiBabbles · 20/11/2021 12:12

Depends on the 15 year old and the household set up - some need more structure than others for their own wellbeing and if sharing room, then there are more concerns as I can't let their missteps in self regulation mean their sibling's sleep is disrupted too.

None of my kids take their phone upstairs and neither does their father unless I'm not home for several hours while he's in bed. It's never been a rule or what we allow, just how things developed as they saw their father doing it and they followed suit. Also, we don't have chargers upstairs so that puts a dampner on things.

BillDates · 20/11/2021 12:17

Mine had no restrictions, I've never needed to because she's been really good at self regulating herself. Nothing to do with my parenting, I think she's just like that, she knows she gets better grades with plenty of sleep so she's not on her phone late at night, she starts an audiobook, sets her alarm and is mostly asleep by 11pm on a weekend and early on a weekday night.

Phones are allowed in bedrooms because we all use ours as a back up alarm, there's been a few times the power has gone off during the night and the electric alarm has reset and it makes her anxious being late, we also don't have a landline and I feel better knowing that if there were an emergency she didn't have to navigate her way to my room or downstairs to get her phone to phone for help, she can chock her door shut and phone emergency services as well as our phone to wake us up and get out too. Same for if she woke up and someone was in the house, I don't want her leaving the room looking for a phone. That might sound extreme but my Dad had two house fires and the area we are living in has had some serious problems with violence in the last year or so.

My 15 year old nephew though, he has limits because he would be playing games or on social media until the early hours, he's in his room all the time as it is playing fifa and can get very mouthy and aggressive when his access to that gets limited and he's been in trouble for online bullying and sharing violent porn among mates so his screen use is a lot more strict and his phone isn't allowed in his room. He gets really good grades but left with unlimited screen access he doesn't self regulate and his behaviour and attitude reflects that.

I think it depends on the child and how sensible they are already.

PandaP0p · 20/11/2021 12:28

Thanks for your views

Mine is very keen on his phone! He's also a sensible boy. Sort of! Typical teen but he's sensible

I decided on weekend access overnight because I do want him to self regulate. Problem is, I heard him at 1am this morning and moaned at him that I didn't want him just aimlessly watching stuff and not sleeping. This obviously upset him as he told me he wasn't tired just yet, he wasn't a baby and he could be trusted

And as I'd allowed him this access in the first place a few months back (we had a discussion about it all and agreed on this compromise) he feels I'm going back on what we agreed.

And I suppose I am! So I need to have a think about why I'm not particularly happy about him doing something I actually suggested 😀

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