Going out with friends.

[gardenbeachsand]

Hello.
My 14 year old ds whats to go cinema with a couple of his mates, and me to drive them there and pick up. One i know parents the other one i dont.

I asked my ds to give my number to the other mate parents so i could speak to them.
My ds said i dont need to and has given me his mates address.

Is this how things are done normal now? i dont feel right driving to a house and picking up a kid without talking to a adult first.

Whats the right thing to do?

I have three teens. At 14 their parents shouldn't be managing their social lives (certainly standard things like cinema).

I would absolutely not insist on speaking to parents

At 14 I wouldn’t be insisting on speaking to the parents

No - at 14 the parents don’t get involved anymore.

Yes that's completely normal. Once kids are in high school they facilitate their own social lives and parents are just taxi drivers.

It's good that your DS is making new friends and they are organising things like this. Next step is to encourage them to use the bus/train so you don't have to ferry them about!

You don't need to speak to the mum of a 14 years old regarding a cinema trip. Going into town/cinema/ice skating and doing lunch was normal for mine at 14 most weeks. Has your 14 year old never hung out with his friends?

Baffled
Totally and utterly baffled that you have been a parent for 14 years and this is new and concerning to you

Erm when I was younger (teen) my mum never spoke to the mums of any of my friends 😐 we had sleep overs went cinema shopping etc my mum and their mums never
Spoke don’t think that’s normal sorry!

No, this really isn't necessary for 14 year olds.

Op just read your previous posts
You have a very very difficult relationship with your son

This is NOT a battle worth pursuing. Just do the hot a favour and pick up the friend without any further ado

Boy

At this age it's normal for kids to organise their own social life with you just providing lifts. (And money!)

My 14yr old has just gone off to the cinema with friends, they were going to get the bus but one of the parents offered a lift. I wouldn't dream and speaking to a parent when offering a 14yr old a lift. They arranged the cinema trip themselves, they can arrange lifts.
I think you're being way, way over the top here.

Wow some blunt responses there OP.. you were only asking! Sounds like a no then...

My dd has just gone into y7 and I would alow this. Its totally normal to have out with your friend at that age. It's only a trip to the cinema

@Oftenithinkaboutit

Op just read your previous posts You have a very very difficult relationship with your son

This is NOT a battle worth pursuing. Just do the hot a favour and pick up the friend without any further ado

I HAVEN'T read your previous posts.. but if it is true that you have a difficult relationship with your son ,I don't think it will take a rocket scientist to work out why if you are this controlling of his social life at 14 !

I get what you mean op I used feel weird when my teens used to get in random parents cars but there is not much you can do.
I did insist on a number if they went to sleepovers somewhere where I didn’t know the parents, I think that’s sensible, no way I 100% trust a teens word as to where they are and what they are doing- I remember my own teen years…

Mine are now 18 and 21.

From secondary school onwards they made arrangements independently.

Having said that I was generally available for lifts and would automatically take home DC's friends too.

I would only do this if your teen is going to someone's house . I know of parties being arranged while adults away . I would say a lift can be arranged agreed without adult x

@twoblueskies

I would only do this if your teen is going to someone's house . I know of parties being arranged while adults away . I would say a lift can be arranged agreed without adult x

Yea would only do this if my dc were staying over at friends house and other parents only called me in that circumstance especially as they got a bit older but for the cinema it's fine. Giv you a chance to meet his friends unless, like mine he says don't talk !!!

Don’t call the mum, not necessary at 14 or beyond primary really.

just a update.

My ds's mates parents gave him a lift.

No my ds hasnt hung out with friends before.

I may have been a parent for 14 years but ive only parented a 14 year old for so many months.

I dont think its being controlling otherwise i wouldnt be making this post.