How did you help your teen with depression and drug issues?

[dragonsben]

Our teen came home today and asked for help. He uses cannabis and we all recognised that there is a drug issue. (He is of course denying it's a big issue and that he is "addicted") but we think he is. (By the way, how do you know when drug use becomes addiction? Lots of teens acting out all the time).

MHe feels depressed, confused, trapped, he lies to us all the time, straight to our face, and get caught easily.

Life at home is pretty much unbearable as he is out, away from home for long periods, sometime 48 hrs. He is getting home middle of the night on a regular basis (that is 3am ish). So stressful. DP and I are sick with worry. Young sibling getting the bitter end of us and missing a brother. Thanks

In the meantime we have new sanctions. No allowance ( only money for food for school because he must), limited travel card, limited phone (Nokia brick), trying to get him grounded, but it's completely useless as he does whatever he wants anyway, and we can't stop him.
I should also say he was diagnosed with ADD.

Did you see a psychiatrist for this? Therapy first? Did it worked for addiction issues? We don't want him medicated for his issues (other than the ADD) but want to see if a psychiatrist will diagnose other underlying issues. The lying being our biggest bemusement and concern. He lied or told tall tales all his life! When he was young it was funny, but now it's just truly unexplainable.. he lies on silly things which will not get him in trouble at all!

He is 17. He needs help. We all needs urgent help. NHS is too slow and want to go private. It's incredibly difficult to find a Dr which is available and have a good reputation. We live in North London and would be grateful for any recommendations you have for a good place for therapy, and a good psychiatrist, with experience with addiction. (By the way, psychiatrist charges between £500-1000 for initial assessment! That is stressful as itself!i
Thank you

You need to look at his peer group and try to get him away from them. Get him involved in activities - anything - sport whatever. It's their influence over him that needs culling

There are Marijuana Anonymous meetings in London. Take him along, addicts will share their experiences and your son might feel like he could fit in there. It won’t cost anything, maybe a quid for a brew. Good luck.

This is part of their literature, I just googled marijuana anonymous.

There is a common myth that smoking weed chills you out. It causes depression in young people. If he carries on it will affect his education as he won't want to go to school

Have you looked into your local young people’s drug and alcohol service?

Thank you all. We are making phone calls..
really interested to hear from someone who went through this.. if you are there?
Thanks

Does he have anything else he is interested in?
Can you take him away to break the pattern?

He is passionate about producing music and was accepted to a selective 6th form (by auditions and interviews) that specialised in film and TV, gaming and music. He is very talented and very smart.

He is dealing with his music most of the time of the time, but also smoke. I know most his friends. The one I've seen I like and they are decent people. Some go with him to the same school so can't separate but don't think they are the problem. But I don't know. It's those who I don't see which I'm worried about, I assume those who deal and sale. Adults. It's really not difficult to access cannabis these days and it is bloody cheap.
He only gets £5 daily for lunch money now but even with this I will not be surprised if you can get some weed on the change.
We had a very serious talk about it. I am sure he finds it very difficult to stop as he is generally feel depressed.
Would you say it's more a psychiatrist thing or therapy or both? Does he needs a diagnosis?
Anyone with experience in this?

Get a psychiatric assessment at The Priory North London, that's your first step - they will work out the plan from there.

@dragonsben

He is passionate about producing music and was accepted to a selective 6th form (by auditions and interviews) that specialised in film and TV, gaming and music. He is very talented and very smart. He is dealing with his music most of the time of the time, but also smoke. I know most his friends. The one I've seen I like and they are decent people. Some go with him to the same school so can't separate but don't think they are the problem. But I don't know. It's those who I don't see which I'm worried about, I assume those who deal and sale. Adults. It's really not difficult to access cannabis these days and it is bloody cheap. He only gets £5 daily for lunch money now but even with this I will not be surprised if you can get some weed on the change. We had a very serious talk about it. I am sure he finds it very difficult to stop as he is generally feel depressed. Would you say it's more a psychiatrist thing or therapy or both? Does he needs a diagnosis? Anyone with experience in this?

He won't be buying his draws from adults. He'll be buying them from 'friends'. Cannabis is a social drug smoked and shared by several peers together. It sort of creates a dependence by the social side of it, and draws the group together. All young people are fundamentally decent. Some of them stray and are attracted to doing things that are wrong. Some of them get back on the right path and others who are less supported don't.

If he has asked for help then this is a good thing. I still feel you need to find out where he is when he smokes, and get him away from socialising with those people. How you do it is not for me to say since I obviously don't know you or your son.
Stop the lunch money and give him sandwiches. You have to be hard on him.

Thank you all for you support.

Try www.butterflyclinic.co.uk/team-profiles

If they can’t help they may be able to point you in the right direction.

Why are you giving him lunch money?
If you stopped that and made him take lunch from home you would cut off his funds for the drugs, wouldn't you?