Going places alone

[dadabot3000]

I have a 16 yr old who is an introvert and a bit of a loner. But, she is also now of an age where she wants to go to concerts etc. My issue is she wants to go on her own and often in towns some distance from us. I would have no problem if she went with a friend or if she went to something in our town but we are not in a major city and she is into certain bands. I can take her and wait in the car (she wants to be alone) but that is not always practical. So I guess my question is would you let your 16 yr old daughter travel alone to a town where she knows nobody and where she will be on public transport alone at night to see a gig?

That's a really difficult one isn't it. My DD is a bit younger but I don't think I'd be happy about it.

is she used to going to the town/city by herself on public transport in day time?

Only school and back really. I worry about being overly protective

No. She goes in a group or she doesn't go.

No, I’m sorry but I think that’s too young. Not if she doesn’t really go out places other than school etc. She needs to find her tribe, that’s really tricky.

I let DS when he was 16. Yes I was terrified. Yes he was always fine. I drilled into him he must phone me when he got on the train home - if he missed the last train I'd have to be driving 30 miles to a city to collect him- he always phoned, and was still phoning me when he was 19 to tell me he's got on a train. He still goes to concerts alone. He just likes to.

Would she be willing to use a tracking app/find my iPhone when she's out alone?

I do know some parents who spent a couple of years of their teens lives sitting in their car outside concert venues.

if I recall right, concerns that

Mine went on a uk holiday where she visited 3 cities at 16 - she was away for 6 days. She was used to travelling between cities and using trains/trams/tubes/buses by then so I would t have an issue with this. But, If she had only ever travelled to school and back there is no way I would let her do this at 16. There has to be a gradual build up to complete freedom so maybe start by allowing her to do some things by day first?

Can you do some day trips to the cities and effectively build up to it? I imagine if she had friends who wanted to go, they would be going. Tricky if they’re not I to the things she wants to see.

I also think it would depend on the band - different bands attract very different types of crowd, then also the venue, the timings etc. So not a blanket no, but not a blanket yes either.

I think I would be worried about the journey back, late at night, alone on public transport.
I allowed DD, when she was 16, to travel alone to a venue 300 miles away, where she was camping and taking part in a LARP for three days, but the travelling was during daylight. And the middle aged blokes who also attended helped her put her tent up and drove her to the supermarket to get food supplies. The ASDA staff were quite amused when a load of axe wielding trolls and Vikings trundled their trolleys in the door!

I was allowed to do things like that at a similar age.

Could she travel alone but you arrange to collect her afterwards?

Thank you everyone. This has been very useful. I am off to sit outside a concert hall tomorrow, in the car while my daughter is inside having a lovely time.