Not with me but each other. 7 year old has an EHCP but eldest is nearly 15. 1-2-1 fine. But the arguing was what lead to is moving in lockdown back to my home town. We used to live miles from their schools difficult for both to have friends.Then we went into another lockdown. Both have got a good set of friends. And love new schools.
I’m ill - really ill. Currently can’t talk with tonsillitis and on antibiotics. So instead of a 6.30 rise and 7.30 lift half way to school then get to stay in bed to 7.00 rise and I offered to drive them and drop them off leaving at 8.15.
From 7 am it’s fight fight fight fight fight - nearly 15 years and nearly 8 years it was vile. She touched my neck, he’s eating too nosily, she’s taken my croissant, he’s snatched it back and on and ducking on it goes. When it got really bad I called them both in and said be kind I’m not well - yes mummy yes and two minutes later more fighting - it was foul. By 8.30 (school starts at 8.30 but open at 8) both of them fighting about getting in the car eldest starts screaming at full volume at the youngest - he’s crying his eyes out (Sen) she’s vile and so I refuse to get in the car and take them and go back inside - my head is pounding and I feel dreadful. She’s then screaming and I mean screaming at me through the lounge window I’m going to be late - refuses to get out of the car. I went outside and told them I was too ill and to walk yourself - she’s screaming at me in the street. Vile. I remove her bags from the car and the lock the car. She’s now crying and screaming. It’s now 8.40 both late for school. I gave both a lift picking them up after they had set off and told them activities tomorrow cancelled except they are both in matches and will let the sides down. Argh…… I came home and cried really cried.
She’s behaving like a 3 year old with him and he’s behaving the same. He tells her on a daily basis he doesn’t love her - she cries and when I speak to them he says he does love her but does it to upset her and she is horrible to him.
Is there any way to deal with this? No family support or ex that is supportive. I can’t cope much longer when well I can manage it much better but honestly it’s grim.
I am debating them both going to their rooms when they get home. They both do an activity on a Friday - she’s a leader he’s goes - they really enjoy it. Leader will be short if she doesn’t go and it does him the world of good socially.
I dropped them off and told her I was disgusted in her behaviour screaming at me and in the street and her brother. I told him I’m upset with him teasing : bullying her by saying he doesn’t love her.
Does anyone else have this? Ffs how do I survive ?
Please be bloody gentle I’m ill really ill and 50% they are fine and sometimes like this - I’m
Tried reward charts, talking to them both calmly then 10 minutes later back to fighting.
She’s not parenting him - I am - but she will often talk over me when I’m talking to him or overrule me - she’s lovely 1-2-1 but I can’t cope with her at the moment. No respite no let up - I don’t want to pick either of them up after school (but have parents evening after school for youngest) it’s an hour and a half later and I’m still bloody crying.