DS (13) weight lifting

[LifeInAHamsterWheel]

DS will be 14 in February. He is mad about weight lifting. Given his age, it's not possible for him to go to a gym so he does it at home watching YouTube videos. He uses dumbells, not particuarly heavy but has asked for a barbell with heavier weights for Christmas. DH is totally against it. I'm on the fence. DH thinks that he's too young and if he gets into serious lifting he could cause himself harm and possibly stunted growth (a friend who is a fitness 'expert' told him this) I'm not so sure as I don't think he'll be lifting ridiculous weight (we'll be buying them so obviously won't buy OTT in weight) but I do worry about where it might lead in the long term, in terms of steriod use etc. and just his body image in general. He's very fit and strong, but not at all bulky! He's lean, I'm not sure any amount of lifting will change what I think is his natural body shape. My side of the family are all light and lean and I think that's his makeup, and I worry that maybe he feels inadequate and that's why he wants to bulk up (awful for a young boy to feel that way)

Sorry for a long post but just wanted to give the full picture. What are people's thoughts on boys his age lifting weights? Would we be irresponsible to encourage it? Or are we mean to deny him?

We were told by a gym manager that children shouldn’t be lifting weights at all. It would be worth you doing some research.

There is a different between weight lifting and strength training.
At his age, he should be strength training.

Sit down with him, research it and come up with some good routines for him to do. But you need to get it through his head that weight lifting is out for now.

There is nothing wrong with teens doing strength training with weights, provided they're supervised properly etc. It doesn't stunt growth.

If he's wanting to do it because he's aiming to 'bulk up' or doesn't like the way he looks, then I wouldn't encourage it for those reasons, but if he enjoys that type of fitness, or is interested in it from a sporting pov, then I'd let him.

It's hard to know for sure, when we talk to him about it he insists that it's just to get strong and improve his fitness and that he enjoys the challenge. But I can't help wondering if there's more to it and that body image is the real driver.

We have looked into it, but of course our teen knows way more about it than we ever could I'm not sure he'd take our word for it if we try to tell him again that weight training isn't good for him at his age. Ideally I'd like a professional to go through that with him, but I can't get anyone to do it since he's too young!

He can absolutely go to the gym at his age, maybe not all but there are lots of gyms let them go from 12/13. If you book him some sessions with a PT at the gym they can give him a programme suitable for his age.

DS (14) is a member of a local gym. When he joined they said he was too young to use the weight machines. I don't know what age they are allowed, as he likes the running, cycling, rowing machines.
Why don't you ask for advice at your leisure centre, they are generally helpful.
DS has small weights he uses at home (dumbbell and kettlebell).
Personally I think he is too young for the big weights.

There's not many places locally and those I've asked at have said that it's 16+ to use the weights.

To be fair, he is only using small dumbells at the moment (has a kettlebell but doesn't like it)

I will try to find a PT locally who could work with him. Its just that he's asked for this barbell for Christmas and I'm not sure if we should get it.

My son is 13 and has started a gym which has kids sessions to show them whst to do

I'd advise he does that not follow you tube

Ask him what he's planning on doing with the barbell - without a bench and a rack he's kind of limited as to what he can do with a bar if he's planning on heavy lifting (which he really shouldn't do without some instruction), and dumbbells are more versatile for home workouts. You could compromise and buy him larger dumbbells if he's outgrowing the small ones?

Regarding training options, I know I was a memeber of a gym as a teen, but can't remember whether we were restricted to certain things. Personal trainers not tied to chain gyms might be more flexible with what they coach. Some weightlifting clubs will do junior classes, though that will be geared more towards olympic lifting than packing on muscle, so may not be what he's imagining (though might be a more 'body-positive' direction to steer him in?)

Do either you or your DH do any gym/training etc?

Teenagers should not be weight training

Their bones and soft tissues are still growing

Personal trainer here.

Yes, I'd highly recommend finding a personal trainer. The right trainer will work with him to find out what he's good at, where he needs development, and will look at devising a programme from a whole-body point of view which should minimise the risks of imbalanced training (which he might end up doing if he just works out in his room with dumbbells, teenage boys tend to focus on the 'beach muscles' of abs, pecs and biceps and forget to train anything else... this can lead to that slight 'hunched forward' look that you see with some young men; because they're basically overtraining their front and undertraining their back).

When teenagers injure themselves it's for the same reasons as anyone else -- poor form, bad technique, overloading the weight. But with growth to be factored in too, these kinds of injuries can be more problematic and long-lasting in teenagers than they would be in someone who was in their 20s, for example.

One thing to look for is a trainer who has done specific qualifications to instruct under-16s. I, for example, haven't done this course. Legally I could teach him but you do really want someone who has experience with this age group. You'll also want to check that the trainer has the appropriate insurance, and of course a DBS check.

Broadly speaking there's not an issue with teenage boys doing some training with weights from about 13 or 14 the testosterone surge of puberty actually means there are some benefits to doing so but they should be safe and supervised and following an appropriate, progressing programme at this point to ensure they don't damage growth-plates and joints. Early to mid teens is absolutely not the time to be 'going beast-mode' and piling on a lot of muscle. Hence a trainer.

Maybe get him to look at some of the body weight training, it's a great foundation for well, everything really

https://www.menshealth.com/uk/building-muscle/a759641/complete-guide-to-calisthenics-everything-you-need-to-know/

Frank Medrano does a lot on Instagram showing it. Like this, just using a wall
https://www.instagram.com/p/CVGAWpbJioE/?utmmedium=copylink

Beginner workout here

DD9 is a gymnast and has been doing strength training with weights since she was 6. Obviously this is done under supervision.

I would say no to weight lifting at 13 though.

Bodyweight training is great and it's certainly something I'd be trying to spark an interest for a younger person if they were my client. It can be a great way to improve balance, strength and flexibility.

However, I would be slightly cautious about showing a young teenager online content of established fitness stars.

Frank Medrano is excellent but he's in his early 40s and has been training for almost 30 years. (Although he's only been doing calisthenics for about 10 years.) He's someone I'd potentially point you at if you were 30, but not 13.

Teenagers can often look at someone like that and not see the years/decades of work that goes into it. They can get either discouraged, or develop unrealistic expectations of what their training 'should' be or how their bodies 'should' look.

Professionally I'm seeing a growing number of young men with skewed (sometimes frighteningly disproportionate) self-image and assessments of their own bodies, and at least some of this has come from following overly trained fitness influencers on YouTube/Instagram.

@LifeInAHamsterWheel

There's not many places locally and those I've asked at have said that it's 16+ to use the weights.

To be fair, he is only using small dumbells at the moment (has a kettlebell but doesn't like it)

I will try to find a PT locally who could work with him. Its just that he's asked for this barbell for Christmas and I'm not sure if we should get it.

Can you get him some pt sessions instead of the barbell-the gym weights rules are a good indication that kids shouldn’t be using them…

My DD is 17 and started using light weights at home at the beginning of the year to get in shape, loved it so joined a gym in May and now predominantly does strength training with weights alongside some cross fit, boxing and pilates.

She's never been into exercise before but she's in the best shape she's ever been (without following any daft diets), and it has done wonders for her confidence.

Just wanted to put forward a positive view, although as others have said you do need to do it properly - she goes to a gym that specialises in weights and boxing and had PT sessions when she joined.

ds(17) started doing exercises with weights when he was 13/14, but he did it through a PT who specialised in teens. They are allowed in gyms when supervised by a PT. Because their growth plates are still open it is possible to cause damage.

Can you treat him to some PT sessions for Christmas and the PT can give him an appropriate training plan.

Thank you all for the advice and opinions. I totally agree that weight training has huge benefits (not least to me as I approach 50!) and there's far worse things he could be doing. But I do feel that he's too young to do it unsupervised so will forget the barbell & bench for Christmas and instead try to sort a few PT sessions for him.

Another couple of things to look out for that ds did (they havent restarted since covid yet) - circuit training/boot camp training for teens run by his PT went down well. Also one of the local karate clubs did circuit type training including non members. These are usually cheap and good for between PT sessions.

If you want to get something to unwrap (and cheaper then weights) a pull up bar with a resistance band to assist until he gets more strength has been popular here. The PT can also show him how to use the resistance band at home for other exercises.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B076F74QF2/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00D49YSJI/ref=ppx_od_dt_b_asin_title_s02?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8 - ds started with the green band

Also a mat for sit ups, planking, push ups etc.

There is so much they can do with their own weight which takes up much less room than a bench and barbell. If he has the self motivation to do exercises at home (guided by the PT) the weights can come later.

What about the suspension training trx type kits? We've got a cheap version that just attaches Iver the door with no drilling or fixing. You can do some really effective bodyweight workouts with those.

I lift in a gym and the trainers there don't recommend weight training for kids while their bones are still growing. Light weights are fine but of course the natural thing is to want to lift heavier and heavier and that's when the damage can be done if you're not careful. Your muscles feel like you can lift heavier but you don't realise the long term damage you might be doing to your joints.

Thank you, the pull up bar is a great idea we'll definitely get that. He does already have resistance bands. I've contacted a trainer in our local CrossFit gym and hoping that we'll be able to get him signed up for the new year so that would be a great Christmas present. I think I prefer the idea of him doing stuff like that in a group of peers anyway, rather than alone at home.

Again, thank you all for the input

Ooh, crossfit is a great shout! Best cult I ever joined

I quite fancy it myself but I imagine if I was to turn up at the same gym he would die of embarrassment