Pocket money & how they spend it?

[ShabbyChic999]

I'd love to know how others manage pocket money. My kids (13 and 11) get a fiver each every weekend. They are supposed to do jobs for this, just simple stuff like emptying the dishwasher, help with hanging out laundry and help DH in the garden. The dishwasher is about the only job that always gets done!! I've been giving them the pocket money every week anyway but realising I need to put my foot down. I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions.....like if they do some of the jobs they get some of the money?
Also do you try to direct your kids on how to spend the money or is it up to them? I like the idea of them being able to save up for things and decide what to buy themselves but DS1 wants to spend £70 on a new video game - this just seems crazy to me so close to Christmas?!?! He only just got a new game at Halloween as a treat for doing well inmid term tests. I thought that would be it until Christmas! I know I sound ancient but I want them to look forward to getting something new for weeks and not get new things so often (the £70 is partly from birthday money he has leftover since the summer)

Ok, to me you sound you still very much want to control how they spend, so you are not as such ready for them having pocket money and spending it how they like

We kept pocket money and chores separate for our teens. The pocket money they get, they can spend it on useless stuff (that’s what it’s for) or save up. The main aim, imo, of pocket money is for kids to understand that money is finite, you can spend it only once, and they learn from mistakes and choices they make (independently)

As to chores, they are expected to muck in as part of the household, it’s not tied to pocket money, it’s just what you are expected to do

Do a bit different from your approach

I have really had to bite my tongue on his they spent their money at times!

What are they supposed to cover with their pocket money? Is it just treats. You pay for everything else?

I think they should be able to spend their money on whatever they want (within the bounds of the law!). If they wanted something really awful I would try and persuade them out of it, but ultimately the point of giving them their own money is to teach them how to spend it/make mistakes etc. They need to learn through trial and error. If he likes games I would say a game is a good thing to spend money on. Better than some stupid craze/plastic tat he'll never use. Or sweets and energy drinks which is another popular spend for kids that age.

I do expect my 16yo dd to do stuff around the house, but not in exchange for money. I don't get paid for doing housework and neither does her dad, imo it's just a normal part of pulling your weight as a family member and respecting the people you live with.

For the last 2/3 years, dd has had an allowance rather than pocket money, and she buys all of her own clothes, toiletries, bus fares, gifts for friends etc. I do encourage her to save, partly by paying a portion of her allowance into a separate savings account, but ultimately, she has access to all of the money if she chooses to spend it. She has become much more conscious of prices and of saving money than she was before she had the allowance, so I think it has been really good for her to learn how to manage her money. She has a part time job now too, so she has amassed some fairly decent savings now.

Personally, I would have conversations with your kids around their spending, reminding them that Christmas is coming up etc, but ultimately, I would let them make their own decisions. It's their money after all.

Mine are allowed to spend it on whatever they like. If I was going to control what they bought I wouldn't give them it.

Pocket money shouldn't be connected to chores - they should have to clean up after themselves and help around the house because that's what people do.

I mean, adults don't get paid for putting dishes away or running the hoover around, so why should kids get paid for it? It's never made any sense to me.

And pocket money/allowances should be there to be spent on whatever they want, imo. It's not your business to control it.

As with pp, we did not connect pocket money to chores. The reason being that in adult world, no one gets paid to do their housework. Paying children to do housework sets up expectation that a person should be rewarded for such work, when in real life, there is no reward. So the philosophy is that housework is divided up between household and we all do our bit.

Their pocketmoney is theirs to spend on whatever they want. We never controlled their purchases. The purpose of pocketmoney is to teach children money management. How to save, how to shop, how to budget. In the case of your DS and his £70 video game the most I would do is show him how to price compare, shop for a good price and also look at places that sell the game used like CEX or Game which will be cheaper.

I'm actually impressed with how your DS has saved up for something specific - I had very poor patience when it came to saving money when I was young and spend it as soon as I had it.

We don't give pocket money yet but I think we need to start soon. My DC's are 10 and 12.

It seems that most of you think the money is their own to spend as they wish. But, how does this square with also limiting sugary treats / sweets? I ask as my younger DC has a mega sweet tooth and I know they would spend all of their pocket money on sweets. I don't want that to happen so what would I do? Specify a "no sweets" rule? What do others do?

(And my DC's do get sweet treats, but in amounts that I can control!)

My 13yo gets £4 pw plus £5 pm for his phone. Not related to chores. He expected to keep his room usable, put clean washing way, set the table and put random dishes in the dishwasher just beacuse he is part of the family.
He spends it on sweets and pop, food out with his mates and not much else. He gets money for birthdays and Christmas which he buys mainly football shirts and PS games.

@jiggeryjaggerywoo

Couple of my DC have sweet tooth. What we did was talk to them about moderation as too much sweets are very unhealthy and addictive. That they can spend pocket money on sweets, but our advice is to limit it to two treats a week. Also made much of you eat it and then have nothing to show for your money and how it’s much more satisfying to save up money and buy something you really want and will enjoy for months or years.

I don't think you can control it. It's wrong to, it's his choice. Is it FIFA22?

But, how does this square with also limiting sugary treats / sweets

If you feed them a healthy, balanced diet at home and provide them with three good meals a day, then £5 worth of sweets a week really shouldn't be anything to get worked up about, imo.

Mine can spend it on what he wants. I suspect it goes on stuff like gum

They can buy anything but sweets here!
I totally link chores to spends, as in real life you get paid to work.
If they fail to do a job I deduct the money😁 I totally understand the view that chores need doing But I hate the nagging element and its really easy "do the job or I will and you loose your cash" TBH if they want to live like pigs later in life that's their choice, they have learned to do cleaning chores, I honestly won't care how they live outside this house.

If I have to clean pets out, there's no spends, I pay it to myself. (can't stand animals suffering)
It works well.
It also means I'm not pestered to buy stuff, they have cash to spend.

I think it's fine to connect pocket money to chores. I wouldn't pay per job but more a general expectation that x, y, z is done and if not pocket money won't be paid.

However you can't then limit what they spend it on. They need to learn that once it's gone, it's gone and to make mistakes with it.

I did try to help and guide my DS and suggested that a good habit to get into was saving half and spending half (as he was not naturally a saver) and we had lots of discussions about the value of things and how to get a bargain/save money on purchases, etc etc

Didn't seem like much of it was going in at the time but once he had left home he started implementing a lot of the principles and is now very money conscious and a big saver. He also enjoys his money too so seems to have a good balance/attitude to money.

Mine get it linked to chores too, no chores = no money. They are expected to make there beds open there curtains put away there washing daily because thats life . Taking out the bins, hoovering the car , cleaning etc are paid with pocket money. Mostly they waste it on food McDonalds, drinks when out & most probs sweets but that's there money. Sometimes they save it when they want somthing but it's rare

@PlanDeRaccordement The reason being that in adult world, no one gets paid to do their housework. Paying children to do housework sets up expectation that a person should be rewarded for such work, when in real life, there is no reward.
I disagree , in the real/adult world people work and are rewarded with money. Just giving pocket money is more likely to cause a money for nothing mentality.

Oh god mine waste it on Starbucks... one bought a caramel crappy drink lat week £6.00 I was 🤯 But we have to let them learn lessons. I may have rubbed it in when she wanted something and din't have any money😂

Pocket money not connected to chores in this house. 2 eldest DC are now young adults in their own homes. They work hard for their incomes so it doesn't seem to have fostered a 'money for nothing' mentality in them.

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]**@PlanDeRaccordement* The reason being that in adult world, no one gets paid to do their housework. Paying children to do housework sets up expectation that a person should be rewarded for such work, when in real life, there is no reward.*
I disagree , in the real/adult world people work and are rewarded with money. Just giving pocket money is more likely to cause a money for nothing mentality.[/quote]
But housework is unpaid work in real life as an adult. It’s an important life lesson to learn that not all work is rewarded with money/pay but it still has to be done. And that everyone does the housework regardless of whether they do other work outside the house that is paid. Paying children to do housework, sets up the unrealistic expectation of money for housework. I have seen this happen in families where they can’t get their DC to help with anything unless they pay them. Clean out garage...pay me. Wash cars....pay me. Feed/walk dog....pay me. Run to corner shop and get milk and bread....pay me.

Pocket money isn’t “money for nothing” it’s “money as a teaching tool” and part of teaching your child. It doesn’t create the expectation of money for nothing, at least not with my DC or with anyone I know who takes the same approach we do.

Watching with interest. I have supposedly been paying mine pocket money in exchange for chores, but they don't do the chores and don't seem to care at all that they don't get the money!