DD want tiktok and Insta

[SorryPardonWhat]

She's a fairly sensible 13yo but I'm anxious about opening the social media doors for her. I could get away with just allowing one for now I think but which one is safest? I have Instagram though rarely look at it but never used tiktok. She has zero interest in Facebook which is the one thing I do use. Tsk.

I'm surprised a 13 year old hasn't got an account. Make sure she has her privacy settings on and just monitor

An Instagram account you mean? I think she'd be the first in her close friends to have one!

We started with TikTok at 13yr made some silly ones together then left her to it. Then 6mths later InstG by then all her friends had it and I joined up and showed her how some of her friends didn’t have ‘private’ acts and I could view everything! So we set her privacy levels high and talked about the implications of what you post & what you search for. They are a generation which will need to understand how these platforms work plus most have already been exposed to-loads via school friends by 13. It’s like anything parenting a teen just try to keep the dialogue open ask what they are interested and be aware that the private chat feature within Insta is what a lot use to communicate as it disappears once viewed so you can’t see it.

@ballsdeep

I'm surprised a 13 year old hasn't got an account. Make sure she has her privacy settings on and just monitor

Why?

No self respecting teen will do Facebook
Of the two I would say Instagram as a bit easier to check and monitor.
I downloaded TikTok to keep an eye on it although algorithms mean that there are different suggestions for different people depending on how quickly you scroll etc. I'm not even keen on SM but can waste ages on it so avoid that one for now if you can!

I’d have a look at what her friends are posting, before you make a decision. My dd(13h doesn’t have either app, but some of the stuff she sees on friends phones on these apps is them in sexy poses, wearing bikinis etc. Even if the account is locked down (and that’s quite a big if), that is not the sort of picture I want out in public of my 13yo girl.

Our 13 and 14 have both BUT they have time limit of 45 minutes a day for both.

Seems to work and is a good motivator to get some house work out of them! (extra minutes).

My twins had TikTok briefly at 11 but my son was waaaay too addicted to watching it, so I got rid of it. I also hated the very quick videos as it really doesn't help concentration. (Unfortunately now Youtube have a similar thing). He had insta on my phone for a bit following famous people but it go so annoying I removed it. They are 13 now and only have access to Whatsapp. They don't actually moan about it at all and seem to be fine without. I have become a bit more savvy about these things and I am glad they don't have insta. I just think all the pictures of perfection are so damaging, plus generally getting sucked into weird communities. Teens are so so impressionable. They can chat to friends on WhatsApp and friends sometimes send tiktoks or youtube links but they are not on it for hours.

Try and say no as long as possible is my advice.

Ok thanks everyone. I'm definitely saying no to tiktok. Still considering Instagram as I can monitor it, but I'd prefer her not to have either. Feel more confident in that opinion now.

Tiktok is fine. My 11 year old has it. I have an account to monitor as well

Insta no chance!! My nephew had a stranger as a friend who rang him and exposed himself!

@Flowersintheattic2021

Tiktok is fine. My 11 year old has it. I have an account to monitor as well

Insta no chance!! My nephew had a stranger as a friend who rang him and exposed himself!

You can't ring people on Instagram

@icedcoffees you can.
Once logged in click on the paper aeroplane top right, click your friend you wanna message top right it has a pic of a phone .....

be careful my ds went on ticktock and started saying gruggly??? i am scared its a slur!!!!! don't want him saying such inappropriate things!!! wishing u the best. we will get through this 😱 xx

I would not allow either. TikTok seems insiduous with no safety controls and god-knows-what content. Insta is a bit more grown up but there is no need for it at this age.

@icedcoffees yes you can. But you need to turn the function on.

You don’t need an account to watch tic tok
Just incase you didn’t know

Old thread but every 11 year old I know uses both

I would start with tiktok. Instagram is a nightmare especially when they send private messages as once viewed the photo will not show again so it is difficult to see when inappropriate pictures are being shared.

The times I have had to ban the dc's from insta for a week or so is ridiculous. Snapchat also a nightmare.

It is ok if you can trust your dc to be sensible. My eldest with SN it is a daily nightmare.

If you can set up a time limit on it.