Suddenly self harming.

[Damnyoureyes]

Age 18.
Very stressed with college.
Symptoms of anxiety.
Now self harming.
Consultation with GP, started ads 6 weeks ago, says they do nothing.
Pastoral help at college and extra help.

WTF do I do?

I’m desperate

GP needs to know about the self-harming and you should ask for an immediate referral to mental health for psychological assessment. I know wait list is long. But do this now.

In addition, anti-depressants usually take two months before you feel any different (if they work). I’d make an appointment for medication review with GP for two weeks from now. Because if they don’t work, need to try a different one and if they do work but not that well, perhaps the dosage can be increased.

You can also contact Mind charity and see if they have any local resources or charities that can offer therapy or just be a safe place for your 18yr old when they feel it is all too much. In some cities they run these “sanctuaries” at night where a person can go and have someone to sit with and chat to.

Thanks plan
He has agreed to an appointment with the GP tomorrow, will ring up at 8am, our GP is AWSOME for same day appointments, phone appointment will be ok he says.
This will be to tell them re the self harming and that meds are not doing anything. So review for increase or change.
He has private healthcare via his employer and has kind of agreed to accessing this via his Occy health dept. I think counselling in regard to managing and understanding his anxiety.
He is reluctant but coming round to the idea.

I feel that he really is very unwell. He thinks he is getting worse.
He HATES college. It’s part of his apprenticeship, it’s 3 months, it’s so temporary, once done it’s done.
This plan has come about in the last 30 minutes.

Does it sound ok?

Good plan. He may be getting worse, as I say, most antidepressants take two months to have any effect, so he’s a couple weeks away from them helping or not helping and quite often people do get worse while waiting for the medication to build up in their system.

But GP will be able to tell if it’s a good idea to increase or change now as they know each antidepressant specifically. I’m so happy you can see them tomorrow.

Having counselling through work is a huge advantage as he can access psychiatrist/psychologist without waiting for years on an NHS list. My DH used his works counselling benefit when he had a severe depressive episode and it helped him immensely. So I would definitely keep encouraging him to use that. The earlier you have help, the less you have to suffer. They can also work with his college if, for example, his anxiety is related to going there in person...then the doctor there can recommend he be accommodated by doing college remotely as much as possible. So having access to a specialist doctor who can after talking to him identify what triggers his anxiety and then tell the college to do A, B , C to help (as well as his employer), is invaluable.

Thank you again plan
This is the first time he has been unwell like this so I am floundering.

Some “down” times when at school as he hated school almost as much but without the anxiety symptoms.

He just can’t understand why he feels this way as he says he has nothing to feel so sad and shaky about. He says that his group are a great laugh, good company, great people, one or two he has spoken to about it and they u set stand. His home like is lovely, no worries there.
A councillor would be able to explain better than me and help him manage the symptoms.
Let’s see what today brings, hopefully the help that he needs.

I hope his appointment goes well.

Mental illness doesn’t discriminate. You can have anxiety/depression even when life is good. My DH suffers from it now and then. I was given a stress questionnaire thing once by his doctor when he was poorly and it had on it both good and bad events...say good ones like promotion, new job, new school, buying a home, wedding, birth of child...and I asked why are good events in here? And the counsellor said that good events can be just as stressful as bad events and then trigger anxiety. He used example of promotion or new job and explained, that is all great on the surface but with the excitement comes also the stress of fear of failing at new job/promotion, stress of learning your new role, stress of how colleagues might react/or treat you, stress of new line manager etc.

I will say that 18 is a tough age for anyone because you are on the cusp of adulthood. This transition from child to adult is very stressful even when things are going great. So your DS shouldn’t feel strange for having anxiety. He’s in a stressful life stage. And perhaps he’s stressed about his apprenticeship going well...even when told they are doing great some people get imposter syndrome and can’t quite believe that.

A counsellor will help him. Talk therapy really helps you understand yourself and why your body is having these reactions.

Could you afford a private consultation with a psychiatrist? My 15 year old son was/is in a very similar position. We discovered that his anxiety & depression was due to Adhd that was completely undiagnosed and unsuspected. It was picked up by a very astute psychiatrist.
It's very important to try antidepressants that help with anxiety. Your gp sounds great m, but they are probably following the standard drug protocol for depression. Some of the first choice Ssri's can exacerbate anxiety at the beginning.They can also make suicidal/self harming thoughts worse initially before improving things. Secondly not all patients respond rapidly to Ad's. In some cases it can take over 8 weeks.
Counselling did nothing for ds. In fact CBT made him feel worse and he was self harming after each session. After a suicide attempt we removed all the knives from the kitchen and he hasn't self harmed since.

There is hope - DS is now back at school and the ADHD medication is helping improve things. Its so difficult as a parent to feel absolutely helpless and not know where to turn.

Thanks.
If I’m honest, my son does have adhd.
Never been assessed. Never been diagnosed. I know in my heart that this is what he has.

Meds dose now doubled. Hope he responds.

If your son has ADHD and it's untreated - that's the probable cause of his anxiety. ADHD medication will treat the cause & improve the anxiety & depression. Unmedicated this can cause prolonged issues apparently.