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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How interested are your 14YO DDs in relationships

15 replies

Minkribs · 31/10/2021 23:11

As in romantic relationships.
Trying to gauge what is considered ‘normal’ so I know if I should be concerned or not (although I know there is no one size fits all).
In my v limited experience I had no interest in a romantic relationship at that age and the thought of kissing someone was a bit ick whereas I have a friend who was says she was snogging multiple people most weekends at that age.
Parenting a teen is hard work!!

OP posts:
Neolara · 31/10/2021 23:12

My dd appears to have absolutely no interest whatsoever in anything other than playing Minecraft with his friends.

Neolara · 31/10/2021 23:13

DD not dd

Neolara · 31/10/2021 23:13

Ds!

MushMonster · 31/10/2021 23:38

Mine has a boyfriend at 13. He is 14.
She has actually been waiting to turn 13 so she can call him boyfriend!
They are really good friends. Quite cose.
All the boys and girls I know from her group are in partners. They do switch around every now and then.

It does worry me only in one aspect. She wants to spend time with him, and she does not think in the lines I want her to quite often. So she will walk with him to his house, which is very close. But to me it means she walks on her own around 7 min in a road with low traffic, and not much public lighting. While she could say goodbye to him 7 minutes earlier, in a well lit busy street and walk home safer.
At the moment this is the main issue. Her hanging around his house talking to him instead of safely walking back to her own home. This leads to arguments as I am very insistant in: I want to know where she is (and she should be back home, 7 minutes away), and I want her to take the safer route.
On the other hand, he shows to be quite protective of her when they are together.

Otherwise they are ok. They hug sometimes, but as far as I know, there is no intention of snogging, yet. Not into that, it is gross to them so far. Hopefully it will last a good while.

It is allien to me, as at 13 I had zero interest in boys. I actually did not get any interest in them through my teen, none whatsoever. She knows this.
I was quite puzzled when I heard of boyfriends and girlfriends when they were 12, but seems to be the norm around here. Some role playing, I suppose.

agnesireland · 01/11/2021 01:31

i was 12 when i had my first bf ! he was 16 , that was the norm around our areas / my school , although my very catholic parents were horrified🤣 then i dated all throughout school. im from a community where people traditionally get married very young so its totally normal to see 14 year olds dating. i think it totally depends on the child tbh, some 14 yos are boy mad and then some are still in their " boys are yucky" phase. as long as ur open with your dd about safe sex and consent etc if she is interested in boys.. you will be fine. the teenage years are hard indeed !!

PanicBuyingSprouts · 01/11/2021 16:31

DD is the same age and is definitely in the boys are gross stage.

user1487194234 · 01/11/2021 18:40

None of mine were interested at that age which I was pleased about

PanicBuyingSprouts · 01/11/2021 19:08

None of mine were interested at that age which I was pleased about. Me too @user1487194234 Smile

AdelindSchade · 01/11/2021 19:14

Dd 13 has a sort of a boyfriend. I wasn't interested at that age myself.

bunny1986 · 06/11/2021 12:41

My DS and DD (twins) both board full time and seem to have a large friendship group of about 10 boys and girls. DD and me are very close and she started having an interest in boys at her school last year (y8) although she never dated anyone. Since they started at their new school this year DD started dating one of her friends (DS best friend). He stayed with us for a few days in half term and DD seems happy and he is a lovely boy. DS doesn't seem to mind his sister is dating his best friend but he hasn't really started thinking about girls yet he's just very obsessed with his rugby and hockey. I wouldn't worry if she isn't lots of DD's friends have no interest and some do, everyone is different.

mommabear2386 · 06/11/2021 17:41

Our DS 14 and DS 17 plus DD 15 are all yet to meet someone or do anything like that all quiet content with friends, I know it will probably change for at least one of them soon but I'm happy with it and some teen romances I've heard about are a bloody nightmare! Xx

emma342 · 11/11/2021 00:10

My 15-year-old daughter became super interested in relationships at 14. It was like a switch had flipped. Then she got a boyfriend this year, and I'm actually really pleased. It's given her a huge confidence boost that someone likes her like that and thinks she's attractive. She barely has body image issues anymore when she used to have them really bad, she's sleeping better, doing better at school, seems happier in general and I've noticed I think she's even self harming less. I was always cool with relationships for my daughters, but seeing this change in dd15, I am now VERY open to if my twin dd12s want to have boyfriends/girlfriends.

ClaraHedgehogs · 13/11/2021 23:17

My 13 year old daughter has a boyfriend, he comes round regularly and she goes round his regularly, I don’t think anything untoward happens but daughter says they’ve “snogged” multiple times (🙄😂)
It’s not really serious at that age but a bit of fun for them haha

dalrympy · 18/11/2021 11:45

DD 15 not interested at all. One of her friends has various boyfriends but the others don't.

olderthanilookapparently · 18/11/2021 11:49

My DS has no interest whatsoever, but he's at a boys school so that probably makes a massive difference.

He loves his sport (watching and playing) and did tell me he though he probably wasn't gay quite matter of factly. He notices pretty girls in the car and I pretend I haven't seen him but he has plenty of time for girls and I am sure love will find a way to be honest he needs to concentrate on his school work I am quietly pleased

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