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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Apathy!

6 replies

Bumpsadaisie · 30/10/2021 10:45

My Dd is 12 so not a teen yet but she is so slow and floppy and takes ages to do anything. She comes down for meals late, she flops about, she gets up gets a spoon, sits down and flops some more, gets up again and finds the cereal and so on ... all the while I am feeling more and more irritated!🤣

Plus she seems to have no oomph to get ready and no desire to take any responsibility for herself. For example -

Friends were giving her a lift to the bus into town. I talked to her about it saying she would need to be ready by x time as the bus wouldn't wait. I went up 15 mins before to check - she was mid- getting ready. So that was something.

Friends are waiting outside and ringing the bell and she is still wandering about getting her bag together as if there is all the time in the world.

She asked to learn guitar - and wants to! - but doesn't touch it outside of lessons. It's like she has just forgotten.

I am not sure how to help her or whether indeed I need to.

I've wondered about giving a warning that if she is not ready by x time then we simply will go without her.

I feel I ought to help her - she's only 12 - but there has to be a line and a consequence somewhere. She just doesn't seem to register that others are waiting for her and that the bus will not wait.

OP posts:
Miracle29 · 30/10/2021 19:00

Oh my ds is like this and has been since he was 11! He has to leave the house at 8 in the morning for school to meet friends and gets ready just 10 minutes before. If I wasn't up he wouldn't get ready. Takes forever to eat meals, leaves them in the side, when someone is picking him up and I say come on they're here he'll grunt and groan. Everything is such a task! Even something he wants to do he'll moan about or take ages to do. I have to shout hiking a morning numerous times until I pull the quilt off him! Sometimes he'll slowly roll downstairs and say my hairs sticking up and it won't go down and I have 10 minutes to leave..like it's my fault I've been telling you for the past half an hour to be ready Hmm it's very irritating so yep I feel you! Sorry not much advice though

Courtier · 30/10/2021 19:32

Weren't we all like that? I know I was. I was just constantly tired all the time and didn't have anything to drive me to speed up.

Miracle29 · 30/10/2021 22:39

I definitely think it's just a teenage thing if nothing is bothering her and she seems OK in herself. I call my ds a sloth all the time Grin it really does fit him

waterrat · 31/10/2021 21:34

Is it worth giving her a shock of learning the consequences? Sit her down kindly so it doesn't involve shouting and say that next time she has to be ready you will give her a warning but won't wait. If kids always get told they have to hurry but actually adults are doing all the planning and thinking for them. Maybe they don't really learn about time...

Ie. To understand how not to be late is a skill ! Lots of adults never develop it ! It involves counting backwards from the time you need to be ready and adding up each activity you have to do then adding a few minutes wriggle room

WeAllHaveWings · 31/10/2021 21:51

Ds(17) was the same until I stopped being his PA and let him suffer the consequences of not getting up with his alarm, not being ready for friends, missing the bus etc.

He can still take ages to do some things, but as I say to him, if he wants to spend 20 mins emptying the dishwasher rather than the 2-3 mins it should take that is up to him.

ACatWhoBinds · 06/11/2021 20:16

I was like that but I think it was undiagnosed ADHD in me looking back 😂
Has she talked about any of it? Does she struggle?

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