17 Year Old Curfew - Do They Exist?

[MadonnaOMeara]

Can I ask do you have a curfew in place for your 17 yo daughter?
Or do you

a) Laugh and think, "what kind of fool are you putting a curfew in for a 17 yo?"

b) Believe as she's nearly an adult that it's time to ease up and let her take responsibility for her hours?

We have asked for an 11 pm curfew on college nights and 12.30 a.m. on non-college nights. What's happening is 12+ on school nights and 3a.m on non-school nights.

This is creating arguments that we can all do without so suggestions are welcome that could help the situation we find ourselves in.

I don't think 'nearly an adult' really cuts it when they are still at school/college and aren't earning a wage, living independently etc.

On the other hand, you don't have a lot of bargaining power either...

I'd be thinking what's the issue:

• disturbing others
• you worrying
• being too tired for college
• it being unsafe

and then go from there.

At that age I needed to be home by 11pm on school nights as I had college
However, my parents were fine with me staying overnight elsewhere as long as I let them know and they had an idea of where I was. One of my closest friends was working and no longer lived with parents, I’d often stay over with her and they were fine with that

They were always happy to pick me up from anywhere and give lifts if needed, even if very late

Tbh at 17 you’re often months away from attending university and living independently there, so I think that needs to be considered

No curfew, but we agree what time in. Where would she be till 3am? Not in clubs at 17, surely. I don't want to be awake/ worrying all night.

If, when I was 17, my mother had attempted to impose a curfew on me, she would have received a very blunt two-word response.

My parents would not have tolerated that and all that nearly an adult talk would have gone straight out of the window if I spoke to them that way.

I struggle to remember but I don’t think I had an official curfew at 17 more they expected me to tell them when I would be home.

For me it depends how safe she is about getting home. If she is mature enough/earning enough money to get proper licensed cabs or lifts with friends or drive herself then a curfew isn't necessary but if she's a risk taker (mine is, adhd) and isn't taking good care of herself then she needs a curfew.

I think each individual child earns their freedom, it's not a blanket "right they're 18, that's it" thing

I had my own flat at 17 amd a full time job amd a car so no one was giving me a curfew.. but I do think things have changed

My dd is 17 and tbh doesn’t actually go out at night unless it’s to youth club we pick her up at 9.45pn when it finishes ( under 18’s can’t leave alone)
And birthday parties which would would pick her up when they finished latest has been 11pm.
If she randomly wanted to go to a friends house I would expect her back in a taxi or a lift by 10pm school nights 11pm weekends.
She will continue to have the same curfew when she is 18 and still in school, house rules won’t change. Once she has finished school she will just need to let us know where she is going and time she plans to be home.
To the pp who said clubs don’t open till 12, that’s the attitude of a child not regarding a child.

My 16 year old had to get home safely and we need to help with that so that provides the only restrictions really.

My son has just turned 18 and we had a midnight curfew until then. Now I insist he messages me when he's home which he does.

I don't give mine a curfew but I have taught them to come in like a ninja. They also know that if there is any problems at all, that they are to call me immediately and I will pick them up. They also know they would never be in trouble for having the odd drink or two (so they know they can call me even if a bit pissed). I'm pretty laid back with them but then they are both relatively sensible boys. If they weren't trustworthy, I'd be much more strict.