ADHD teen and driving lessons

[supermarketscrunchie]

I have 2 teen boys 13 months apart in age. The eldest will be 17 in December and is really keen to get driving lessons. The problem is he is extremely impulsive with slow processing. He is very erratic and quick to anger. He has been in lots of trouble with the police and hasn't been able to cope in a school setting since he was around 12.. The younger, on the other hand, is very calm and sensible and I would gladly pay for lessons for him when the time comes but the older will be upset that his brother will be encouraged and supported where I won't for him.
How would you handle this situation?

I am not certain of this but vaguely understand that if adhd affects the control of a car it would be a dvla referral.

I am not clear on this but have mentioned to ds and will look nearer the time.

Yeah, not sure re DVLA rules but he won't take meds due to side effects so wonder if they would refuse him?

I've come across this with a family member, and I believe the DVLA had to request a GP/medical assessment.

Apply for their provisionals if you haven't already. There is a massive backlog. You can apply when they are 15 years and nine months I think it is. Well before 17 anyway.

I'd contact some instructors and see if they can offer any insight if you can't get any information from the internet.

thanks folks, hopefully gp says no then its not my fault lol!

www.gov.uk/adhd-and-driving

does this help?

thanks for link WeAllHaveWings, struggle is also how to deal with the fall out that 1 boy will get and 1 won't. It'll be rotten for the one who is not 'allowed' ifyswim

Sorry, I have no idea as I have no experience of ADHD, it must be hard on him to see another opportunity that his brother gets to do so easily. I guess all you can do is tell him legally he needs to fill in the forms so the DVLA can check and then sympathise with him, and acknowledge his feelings if he is not allowed to drive.

Can you soften the blow with something more suitable for him that you can fund that gives him something he can aim for instead? Maybe weekly sessions with a PT and gym membership for the rest of the week if suitable to build his confidence and self esteem?

ds(17) has been going to a PT for a couple of years now (started when he was at a low point), it is one that specialises in teens and he has been a great role model, they talk when he is resting between sets and ds listens to his advice about drinking/getting into trouble/school/healthy eating etc more than he does me!

that's a good idea WeAllHaveWings re PT. I might look into this. Thank you.

Yes it'll be out of your hands as when you apply to dvla you'll need to declare the ADHD then they'll do their own checks before approving or not. If he didn't declare then his insurance would be invalid so he has no choice which absolves you of responsibility at least!

It really sucks for one to be able to drive and the other not. Do you think he'll give his brother lifts and things? Not that it's the same but I'm hoping he'll help out

It's a shame about the meds. Can I ask which ones he's tried?

He is very erratic and quick to anger. He has been in lots of trouble with the police and hasn't been able to cope in a school setting since he was around 12..

Probably due to the school setting tbh. I would give him a chance. He can have a few lessons and see how he gets on surely? I think it would be quite harsh to try and block him from being able to drive by notifying the DVLA. You only need to tell them if you think it will affect the driving, so why not have him with an instructor for a few hours to see how he does. Behaviour in school really isn't indicative of driving ability.