Teen DD drugs

[Teenagekicksmyass]

Hello, I need some advice please if anyone can help me.
My DD 15 is going to a party at someone’s house tonight. She’s had a rough time of it recently, been in a relationship with a boy who was abusive. They have split up now but we had to get the police involved because he was harassing her. That seems to have died down now, but we are waiting for some support for her because she has been really emotionally affected by what this boy did to her.
She went to her friend’s birthday party last weekend and I allowed her to take some alcohol with her. The party was at the friend’s house and her mum was there so I felt ok about it.
She’s going to another birthday party this weekend at a boy’s house.
I’ve done the unforgivable thing and looked at her phone this morning. It looks like she has plans to take ket. In a text message she has told someone a friend is buying her some.
Obviously I am now worried sick. And I know I shouldn’t have looked at her phone. But does anyone have any advice? Should I just try to talk to her generally about drugs before she goes? If I tell her I know it will probably massively harm our relationship which is quite good most of the time….

Having been there, discovering evidence of ket use, similar age DD, I would say in the strongest possible terms. Do not let her go to this party and tell her why. I would also consider drug testing as a condition of future nights out.

Imo you have no obligation to disclose how you know, just that you are aware of her plans and she's not going out. As far as she knows another parent could have tipped you off.

Concerns about upsetting the balance in your relationship fade in the face of this. It would be an incredibly bad move for her to start using. You are mistaken to think a drug pep talk before the party will deter her. Believe me every 15 yo will know drugs are bad and will probably researched the particular drug before trying.

Sorry if this sounds extreme but we are a year down the line from where you are.

Thank you for replying. I feel sick to my stomach. I knew she had drunk a little bit of alcohol before but I had no clue about anything else. She’s doing well at school, goes to dance classes twice a week, always seemed like a ‘good girl’. I feel very naive.

Can I ask how things turned out for you? I hope your DD is ok.

Things are OK, we have ups and downs. It's really important to be vigilant, drug taking is rife with this age group and they are easily available. I don't have all the answers but it's important to be realistic, 'good' kids also make bad decisions.

One other thing, we are also dealing with problems around emotional wellbeing. If you are able, I would recommend private counseling rather than waiting months/years for ewmhs help. If you can find someone qualified with experience of this age group it can be well worth it.

I hope things work out. I completely understand the feeling of being sick to your stomach.

She went to her friend’s birthday party last weekend and I allowed her to take some alcohol with her. The party was at the friend’s house and her mum was there so I felt ok about it

What did the friends mum think? Did you ask? She’s 15- my dd had a sleepover and some mums sent alcohol without telling me, next thing I know they’re all pissed, i’m responsible and it’s a fucking nightmare. I was certainly not OK about it.

As for the ket, either have a serious drugs talk and warn her how dangerous it is, and hope she’s responsible enough to take it in. Or you say you saw the message and she can’t go. If she does go phone the parents at least so they can monitor a bunch of underage kids who may well need medical attention, or cancel the party themselves.

Thank you so much for your responses you have helped me to feel better.
I’ve phoned my DH and we are going to talk to her when she’s home from school, tell her we are aware and that she can’t go to the party and take it from there. We’re going to take the ‘it has come to our attention’ tack and see what she says
She is on a waiting list with an organisation who provide support to young victims of crime/harassment/abuse and should be assigned a key worker in the next couple of weeks.
With regards to the last party she went to, we were all aware that they would be having some alcohol and the party givers mum was in charge. The party finished early because the birthday girl got drunk….

Get her to read ketamjne and bldder pain