Teenage trouble

[maxine76]

My 15 year old daughter is very attention seeking, everyday whether at school or home, drama always follows and because of this has very few friends or struggles to keep friends and its always someone else's fault. Her moods are terrible, she creates problems just for attention. i rarely go out with my friends or boyfriend, but when i do, i have call after call to say she's not well, needs to go to hospital, someone is bullying her etc to the point i can't enjoy any free time as im constantly worried about my daughter. She treats me badly at times and if i don't do what she wants, i'm a bad mother etc. I'm at my witts end, no idea how to her handle her anymore. Any advice would be helpful

My teenage girls used to constantly text me when I was out with loads of drama (they were safe with their Dad or Granny) and basically ruin nights out. Now I put the phone on airplane mode but that’s because I know they can contact someone else if they genuinely need help.

I had a similar experience with my daughter last year - refusing to leave the house unless I spent hours begging her, making her siblings late for things, taking up all my attention. I got myself into a very unhealthy relationship with her. In the end I told her firmly that I loved her and I wasn’t going to fight with her anymore because it wasn’t good for any of us. I had to be brave and walk away from situations where she would be threatening to not go to school etc but I always told her I loved her and a made sure not to get sucked back into endless discussions and arguments. I found it very hard to walk away from some of the drama and she did fight it to begin with by ramping up the behaviour but it did work in the end (and I always did respond when she was genuinely distressed and it never felt like she wasn’t safe - if she’d been threatening self-harm that would have been much more difficult).

I know it’s not exactly the same situation but I hope that helps a bit.

I’m not sure I can help but I wonder if it’s just for attention or if there is something else going on like anxiety. My daughter does similar (and has self-harmed) but she is also very anxious and now we think possibly ADHD. It might be worth speaking to the GP and trying to get a CAMHS referral. I know many people on MN have not had a good experience with them but they were very good with my daughter. Maybe they could offer family therapy to get to the root of the problem or find out why she seeks attention.