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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Son not speaking to his Father

9 replies

thethreemuskateers · 04/10/2021 22:37

In April myself and my ex split up, I initially asked him to leave as he was treating me very poorly. He got made redundant and leading up to the split her wasn’t picking me up from work, no tea was made. He was drinking every day and spending a lot of time with our female next door neighbour. I was heartbroken begged him to come back but it was very rehearsed as if it had been on his mind a while. My son took it terribly and wouldn’t leave his room for 2 weeks. Eventually he seemed loads better and got his relationship back on track with his Dad.

Until 7 weeks after he left I discovered he was seeing my next door neighbour who was also a close friend for 10 years. My son was absolutely heartbroken as both him and myself had treat her like a aunt/sister. Spent every day together thinking she was helping me through my break up.

My son hasn’t spoken to his Dad in over 3 months now, but recently is saying he wants to get in touch. His Dads still seeing the neighbour although not at her house as she’s still living next door.

Although I want him to see his Dad I’m so scared that his mental health is going to be impacted once again. Does anyone have any advice on how I can protect him. I’ve had to pick up the pieces twice now and I dread having to do it a third time.

OP posts:
thethreemuskateers · 04/10/2021 22:38

Just to add he’s 15

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pumpkinpie01 · 05/10/2021 06:31

I think at 15 he is old enough to decide for himself. Has his dad been asking to see him the last few months ?

rrhuth · 05/10/2021 06:40

You have to let him do it his way, and try to support him as he works this out. A very upsetting thing to find out something has been going on so long. Flowers for you

thethreemuskateers · 05/10/2021 11:09

Yeah his Dads continued messaging him since it all came out back in June. He’s never been honest with me from the onset, gaslighting me into thinking it was all in my head and almost causing me a mental breakdown. He’s meeting him tonight, he said he’s willing to speak with his Dad but wants nothing to do with our neighbour. I just find it really strange how someone can have a relationship with someone there son won’t accept. All I can do is let them get on with it and support my son.

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Brollywasntneededafterall · 05/10/2021 11:36

Maybe your ds just wants to reaffirm nc is what he wants..
At 12 and 14 my ds's went nc with their df..
They have no regrets..

thethreemuskateers · 05/10/2021 11:57

@Brollywasntneededafterall

Maybe your ds just wants to reaffirm nc is what he wants.. At 12 and 14 my ds's went nc with their df.. They have no regrets..
I wish he would go No Contact although I would never say that to him. He’s got such an important year and I just worrying seeing his Dad is just going to un-do all my hard work.
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Brollywasntneededafterall · 05/10/2021 12:16

At my dc's ages they felt confident enough to move to me ft. And to tell their df that was their decision.. Your ds may have more guts than you think...

PanicBuyingSprouts · 06/10/2021 22:11

I just find it really strange how someone can have a relationship with someone there son won’t accept.

Because he's prioritising his dick over his DS.

thethreemuskateers · 07/10/2021 08:05

@PanicBuyingSprouts

I just find it really strange how someone can have a relationship with someone there son won’t accept.

Because he's prioritising his dick over his DS.

This is so true, my son met him and said it was strange there was no mention of his Fathers relationship with the next door neighbour. My son said he does want to ask him but felt there first meeting wasn’t the right time. Although I feel his Dad should have approached the subject of why they fell out in the first place.
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