dd15 'friend' sleeping over

[alexiavalentine]

my dd15 wants to have her friend round for a sleepover, but i've heard her on the phone to her other friends talking about this girl, and it seems quite obvious they both like each other, do you think it's ok for me to let them sleep in the same room with this in mind? especially as they're both 15 now and i know what 15 years olds can get up to

So more a girlfriend than an actual friend ?

If you think she’s interested romantically in her friend then you need to ask her and then set some ground rules. 15 is too young to have a bf/gf stay over in the same room in my opinion

No as it would seem your encouraging it.

The law says 16 ( even though I would like it to be 18)

I did actually sleep with my boyfriend at 16 but the thought of my kids doing it at 16-no!!! It seems like their still babies! 😂

15 too young for gf/bf sleeping together but it's better they are in a safe place than in a park or someone else's house.
Talk to your dd
Do you have younger kids that need to be set an example to.

@alexiavalentine

my dd15 wants to have her friend round for a sleepover, but i've heard her on the phone to her other friends talking about this girl, and it seems quite obvious they both like each other, do you think it's ok for me to let them sleep in the same room with this in mind? especially as they're both 15 now and i know what 15 years olds can get up to

Can you talk to her, will she be open with you. I'd talk to her and find out more about the person and if this is a friendship or more.

I'd be less concerned about this than I would with a bf. There's no issue of pregnancy and much less likely to be pressure / consent issues (unless you have reason to believe otherwise).

@TheNarwhalBalloon I’m fairly certain females can sexually assault another female and pressurise them just as males can!

I didn't say that they couldn't... What I said was that it's much less likely. Which is overwhelmingly true.

Well, at least she won't get pregnant.

But she could have sex with a boy and not get pregnant too, you don’t get pregnant every single time you have sex with a guy.

@Rainbowheart1

But she could have sex with a boy and not get pregnant too, you don’t get pregnant every single time you have sex with a guy.

Yes, but it’s a RISK every single time. As opposed to NEVER A RISK with a girlfriend. This is a big difference!

Yes not disputing that, it’s a very obvious fact, just doesn’t feel right though saying you can have underage sex in my house with a girl but not a boy. I don’t know why it just does. I think it’s because I feel parents shouldn’t be encouraging it maybe.

I think it depends on why you think 15 y olds shouldn't be having sexual encounters. If it's because you fear teenage pregnancy, STIs or the inability to say no to stuff they might regret because of pressure, then there's less risk of that between two girls and you might be less concerned. If it's because you think sexual exploration between peers is damaging or morally wrong at age 15 then it makes no difference.

I wouldn't necessarily be happy about it but I'd allow it. I wouldn't allow it with a boy though. Ime, boys ARE more coercive and of course there is the risk of pregnancy and the higher risk of STDs.

@Andi2020

15 too young for gf/bf sleeping together but it's better they are in a safe place than in a park or someone else's house. Talk to your dd Do you have younger kids that need to be set an example to.

thank you all for the advice, i will definitely talk to her about it, i don't have any other kids, she's an only child. I don't know whether to be relaxed about it or take it more seriously, even though me and my friends were doing 'things' at that age i hate the idea of her doing it!

No I wouldn’t allow it.

Talk to her about it. Make sure she knows about your concerns and the conditions that need to be in place in order for her to have her sleepover.