My 17 year old son just doesn’t interact with me!

[Antonia2021]

Hi all - does this start getting better when they start 6th form ?

He literally doesn’t want to spend any time with me , grunts at me in answer , shows no love or affection (hasn’t since he was 13).. I know this is prob ‘!normal’ but I honestly thought he would be coming through it now.

Any tips ? He’s just started a levels , did really well gcse , has part time job, good friend circle

Or just accept zero interaction other than the odd grunt ?

Thanks !

Will he sit with you when you both eat or if you go out together to get something?

I've got two boys now 18 & 20.

DS1 has been lovely company since he was about 15. Never affectionate, doesn't like a hug, but good to have a round and have a chat/share a meal with.

With DS2 it's painful. It's just me and him for dinner tonight and I wondering whether to out us both through it or let him have dinner with his computer. He'll sit long enough to eat (10 mins max) barely say a word, then find an excuse leave the table. I know literally nothing about his life.

I keep waiting for him to come out the other side but it's been a long time now. My one hope is that he doesn't seen quite lively and engaged when chatting with friends, so I know he can do it.

Same here with my 23 year old! He will engage if he wants something then goes silent again. I feel like he doesn't like me much. 😓

Thank you all ! After I posted this we had to drive a way to a hospital appointment and I decided to take a risk and say how I feel when he doesn’t talk to me (I said it calmly )

I also was minded to say how I was at boarding school at his age with hardly any parental contact so maybe I am treating him too young
Anyway we had nice chats today and we had a fakeaway kfc for dinner

I really noticed he said thank you more and made a cuppa for us both

So maybe being a bit vulnerable works??!!

So maybe being a bit vulnerable works??!!

Sounds like it does

I tried not asking about him at dinner tonight. Because I usually struggle so much to get him to talk, I know I ask too many questions about college, work, friends, plans for the future, which for some reason he doesn't want to answer.

Tonight I changed tack and asked if there was anything in this week's news that had caught his eye and we had a fairly interesting discussion about the cabinet reshuffle!

Teenagers are an enigma sometimes aren’t they?
My 17 year old makes small talk, is polite etc, but some days its painful trying to get any conversation out of him.

@Antonia2021

Thank you all ! After I posted this we had to drive a way to a hospital appointment and I decided to take a risk and say how I feel when he doesn’t talk to me (I said it calmly )

I also was minded to say how I was at boarding school at his age with hardly any parental contact so maybe I am treating him too young
Anyway we had nice chats today and we had a fakeaway kfc for dinner

I really noticed he said thank you more and made a cuppa for us both

So maybe being a bit vulnerable works??!!

Awww.... that must have been nice for you ! My boys have always shown their love by making cups of ☕️!

I've got a moody Y12 son. Some days he's mildly affectionate and drapes himself over me for a hug. Other days it's clear that everything I say, and the fact that I am breathing in the same room as him, makes his back teeth clench with irritation.

The days when he loathes me and can't stand to speak to me are hard.

Teenagers are an enigma def!

It is hard not to be hurt when they clearly can’t bear being around you ! Esp when pmt / peri over- sensitive!

Thank god for my dog and cat ‘s adoration !

@MadMadMadamMim

I've got a moody Y12 son. Some days he's mildly affectionate and drapes himself over me for a hug. Other days it's clear that everything I say, and the fact that I am breathing in the same room as him, makes his back teeth clench with irritation.

The days when he loathes me and can't stand to speak to me are hard.

I do still feel like this about my mum today tbh !!

@RunningStrong

I tried not asking about him at dinner tonight. Because I usually struggle so much to get him to talk, I know I ask too many questions about college, work, friends, plans for the future, which for some reason he doesn't want to answer.

Tonight I changed tack and asked if there was anything in this week's news that had caught his eye and we had a fairly interesting discussion about the cabinet reshuffle!

Ah brilliant !!!

@Antonia2021. Tell me about it! My mother, who is now in her mid 80s gets on my wick! As a teenager, she was worse. I couldn't stand the comments she made, or her "niceness" and reasonable responses when I was being horrible.

I occasionally hear her voice as I say something placating to my teen, and I massively resent the fact that he's turning me into my mother. ☺

@MadMadMadamMim 🤪🤪🤪

My mum drives me mad by making up / exaggerating anecdotes and I think I so the same !

I also have a 17 yr old but the school year above.
He interacts on his terms mainly. Sometimes a grunt or similar, other times he wants to chat or be with me/Dh.
I tend to ignore his grunting responses and enjoy when he’s more talkative. He also has good friends, has a p/t job, does well at school, but it doesn’t mean he’s not struggling w teen stuff internally.
. I try not to ask too many questions either and let him take the lead - he’s recommended me tv progs and podcasts. He also hates it when I state the obvious!!

Ps: hugs on his terms too 😆
He’s working today and when I said dh and I might be out before he gets back he was not happy!! Not sure if that’s cos there’s no one to slave after him or that there’s no-one to offload to?!

Thanks all! He’s been great since I said that it makes me feel upset !

He’s even been watching Money Heist with me!