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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

My positivity is fading

13 replies

wordsareveryunnecessary · 26/08/2021 14:10

So we've had a good school holiday so far. DS has helped his dad filling a skip/clearing garden waste etc and has been good company. But this week I'm finding things to be strained.
He never has any ideas where to go, so I surprised him with a trip to the gardens of a stately home yesterday He walked around with his hood up and mask on (outside !) and a bored attitude. After walking for an hour I sat down on a bench and he was literally hovering around wanting to go after 5 minutes. Only when we found something he loved did he cheer up. This week he has been complaining there's nothing to do but won't do anything I suggest. We've taken his friend out with us on some fun trips out twice a week. So he's certainly had outings and fun things to do. There's been a rollercoaster park day out and seaside trips too.
We are out to an activity this evening that he's chosen.
It feels like a constant finding things to do battle. If he's at home, he just watches You Tube or plays on the Switch.
He's 15 and can't just randomly go to see friends because he's got some SEN. He caused us no end of problems earlier this year when the restrictions eased.
Going missing, not answering calls, not coming home when his friend didn't turn up and spending the day with some random kids he just met in the park.
Currently wanting a £50 collectable item which will just gather dust in his room. 🤯

OP posts:
Bananacocks · 26/08/2021 14:14

Sorry but did you believe he would be excited for a trip round stately homes Gardens, is this something he enjoys? Or is it your idea of a good time?

wordsareveryunnecessary · 26/08/2021 14:21

@Bananacocks yes he loves outdoors and open spaces. Lots of places we visit are like this and he's always enjoyed it

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 26/08/2021 14:25

The gardens of a stately home are not the same as an outdoors open space unless its like a wilder, woodlands area you can run round and have fun in.

Sounds incredibly boring.

And nothing wrong with spending the day with random kids he met in a park as long as he isn't going off somewhere that might be unsafe.

pegasussy · 26/08/2021 14:29

What was the thing that he loved that cheered him up in the end? Maybe more things along the lines of that thing?

He might have to take greater ownership of finding his own amusement. Or perhaps he wants to, but you're not happy to let go yet?

wordsareveryunnecessary · 26/08/2021 14:41

@Comefromaway it has a large wooded area where he was happy climbing trees (he's an experienced climber )

OP posts:
balernobetty · 29/08/2021 09:51

My DC's are very outdoorsy but would absolutely hate a visit to stately home gardens.
I don't think you can really blame him for being bored op

SoupDragon · 29/08/2021 09:53

If he is outdoorsy, have a look at geocaching.

SoupDragon · 29/08/2021 09:53

Go Ape?

toughdaay · 29/08/2021 09:56

I mean that does sound boring for a 15 yr old, sorry. Go Ape is a good suggestion but complaining you're bored all the time is part of being a teenager surely.

Christmasfairy2020 · 30/08/2021 08:36

My nephew and my brother who both have learning difficulties go out on day trips every Saturday. They have decided they want to explore every where local. This weekend of last week they both went on a train to York. Do things like this maybe?

Ifeelmuchlessfat · 30/08/2021 09:10

There’s not much of the holiday left now surely? Can’t he just do his own thing for the last week while you relax - sounds like you’ve done quite a bit overall.

brittleheadgirl · 30/08/2021 09:17

Can't you just let him be? My teens would hate me to be micro managing their spare time!
It's always worth remembering how you felt at their age, I loved my parents very much at 15 but generally didn't want to spend much time with them.

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 30/08/2021 15:48

He’s 15, a walk in stately home gardens is not that exciting for most teens Grin

About his £50 collectible, does he get pocket money do he can save up?

What would he choose to do if he could? Stately homes? Beach walk with fudh&chip tea?

My DS (16) is more keen to spend time with friends than with me

Can you get him to invite friend (s) around for gaming & pizza?

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