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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Son 14 wanting to meet girl 13 whom he met online

29 replies

Leighton88 · 22/08/2021 18:41

Hi all, my son, 14, has been speaking to a girl, of the same age, for around 4 months now who he met via TikTok. She lives about 3 hours away from us. My son gave my number to this girl, who then passed it onto her father. He has text me to say they have been discussing her staying over at our house for a few days at the end of the month and he is happy to drop her here?! I’m completely dumbfounded how another parent could let their child stay at another persons house-who they have never met before, hours away from where they live?! Am I being over precautious or am I right in thinking this whole situation is crazy!?

OP posts:
MarshmallowSwede · 22/08/2021 18:51

What kind of father is ok letting his daughter sleep overnight at a boys house?

This sounds like a way to get your address. Don’t give this man your address as you have absolutely no way to know if this man is actually her father and if this girl is real.

Has he video chatted with her or actually seen her or spoken to her?

There are so many scammers and dangerous people online. I would just caution you to be careful about sharing your address with anyone. Also be cautious about who your son is speaking to.

louisejxxx · 22/08/2021 18:53

No you’re 100% being over cautious at all - there’s no way I’d be letting this happen and I can think of 50 reasons why it shouldn’t. Have you spoken to your son about it?

Winemewhynot · 22/08/2021 18:54

Well I think we just found father of the year…not!

You’re not being crazy, it’s not normal to send your child to a strangers house three hours away based on an online friendship!

Original poster
Leighton88 · 22/08/2021 19:09

Thank you for reassuring me. My son has been pleading with me for days! I have seen her- they FaceTime now so she’s always present on screen. I’m just worried! She could say anything had happened in our “care”. The fact the father replied to my message saying I was apprehensive about the situation and we didn’t have a spare room, he replied “I’m happy for them to share a room, but that’s obviously down to you!!” That was the icing on the cake for me!! I’m not sure what to reply to this guy!!

OP posts:
DreamGoat · 22/08/2021 19:27

"They'll have to wait a bit longer to meet up. We don't have the space to make sure your daughter has privacy here. Maybe we can all meet half-way somewhere at half term for the day."

DreamGoat · 22/08/2021 19:30

When I think of what I got up to at 14 in relatively innocent times, I can't believe the father is willing to drop his very young teenager off at a stranger's house, and let her sleep in the same room as your (no doubt honourable) boy. Just so odd.

nimbuscloud · 22/08/2021 19:32

Just say no

Aquamarine1029 · 22/08/2021 19:33

That is absolutely insane. What kind of family/upbringing has this girl had, fgs? Poor girl.

Marmelace · 22/08/2021 19:33

What's the harm in them messaging and chatting to each other for awhile longer, cannot see the point in rushing to meet up yet. Her father is a bit of an egit really.

PeasPeasPeasAreGoodForYou · 22/08/2021 19:33

Her father is insane

Mummasdiary2021 · 22/08/2021 19:34

It's not odd to meet someonein real life from online (obviously with an adult present in this situation). however I would say the sleeping over/being at your house is odd. I would suggest meeting somewhere in the middle of both areas in like a nandos or something in a public shopping centre. Kids can sit at their own table with adults near by. Or thwy can roam the shops to be picked up at a certain time. The dad does seam abit odd though.

Thewiseoneincognito · 22/08/2021 19:34

Are you sure it’s the father who has sent the text ?

feellikeanalien · 22/08/2021 19:35

Are you sure it was the father who contacted you? DDs dad would have gone ballistic if she had come up with an idea like this.

titchy · 22/08/2021 19:36

I'd be replying to her father 'Unfortunately my husbands bail conditions don't allow under age females overnight in this house. Once the court case has happened and we've got the misunderstanding cleared up he'd be happy to pocket her up from yours.'

Might make him think twice about offering his child to a random stranger.

PeasPeasPeasAreGoodForYou · 22/08/2021 19:36

@Thewiseoneincognito

Are you sure it’s the father who has sent the text ?
Why does this seem so obvious but I never thought it!? Very good point
ShitShop · 22/08/2021 19:37

He’s happy for his 13 yo DD to share a room with a boy she’s never met? If be calling children’s services tbh! Disgusting excuse of a dad.

ShitShop · 22/08/2021 19:37

I’d be*

Hate this bloody phone!

TooWicked · 22/08/2021 19:37

Absolutely no.

Reply that you’re happy to meet up halfway (if you are), the kids can have a few hours to go to the cinema, bowling, Nando’s, whatever. But no she won’t be invited to stay at yours.

Bloody hell, what kind of a father is he?!?

ShitShop · 22/08/2021 19:38

@titchy

I'd be replying to her father 'Unfortunately my husbands bail conditions don't allow under age females overnight in this house. Once the court case has happened and we've got the misunderstanding cleared up he'd be happy to pocket her up from yours.'

Might make him think twice about offering his child to a random stranger.

Brilliant idea!
PlanDeRaccordement · 22/08/2021 19:38

I suspect the girl is texting pretending to be her dad. Agree something is not right.

ElizaDarcysDeeds · 22/08/2021 19:38

Sorry, I'm not buying it. No father of a teen Dd would be ok with this. Either someone is playing your DS or someone is playing you or you're playing us.

Comedycook · 22/08/2021 19:41

This can't be the dad surely?! I'd be wanting a phone call myself with him where I'd be explaining that she won't be able to stay in your home and likewise, your ds won't be staying at theirs.

I'd be willing to compromise on a face to face meeting in a public place where you and one of her parents accompanies them.

ElizaDarcysDeeds · 22/08/2021 19:42

@titchy

I'd be replying to her father 'Unfortunately my husbands bail conditions don't allow under age females overnight in this house. Once the court case has happened and we've got the misunderstanding cleared up he'd be happy to pocket her up from yours.'

Might make him think twice about offering his child to a random stranger.

Please don't do this. If any of this is real, it's much more likely it's a child your DC knows. You don't want to start rumours that your DH is a convicted paedophile. This thread is just brimming over with bullshit.
romdowa · 22/08/2021 19:42

Just say no that doesn't suit us and tell your son to stop giving out personal contact details to people he meets on the Internet. Fine to make friends online but you need to maintain boundaries. These people could be anyone and you've no idea what their motivation may be.

Original poster
Leighton88 · 22/08/2021 19:43

Your replies are exactly what I have been telling myself! They are polish. I’m sure it’s her dad and I have the mothers number too. I actually work in education and social services did cross my mind but i can’t keep up with this day and age shenanigans and what’s the “norm” anymore! I love your reply @titchy!! A real eye opener!! Thank you all for just confirming what I already was thinking!

OP posts: