Teen pushing me to my limits

[Tiredout123]

I literally feel like I cant cope. I get some suicidal thoughts but no intentions. Just must be a release mechanism.. I guess..

Dont want to go into too much detail as dobt want to be outed.

Just need some ways of dealing with a 15 year old who argues with everything, gets in my face, follows me around, is saying inappropriate things in front of his much younger sister.

Feel like a failure and that I just cannot cope.

Really try my best but that's clearly not working.

I just cant go on like this.

Thanks for reading

LadyPenelope
To the person who’s suggested contacting school, I think it was @OhWhatsOccurrin, not meaning to be rude, but what good do you think that would do? Genuine question. I did all that, makes no difference. If they’re not exhibiting this type of behaviour in school, then it isn’t an issue school are willing to help with.

When I was going through this with my child, the school were very supportive and arranged MH support for my child. My child was not displaying this behaviour in school but they helped us both anyway. It was the turning point in our situation. I'm not saying that will be the case here- but surely can't hurt to try. I'm not suggesting broaching it as a discipline issue for OP's child - but as OP saying that her child is not right and needs support. When children act out like this, they are suffering inside and are in need of any extra support available.

I'm sorry that it didn't make a difference in your case. I hope things get better for you and your son 💐

If you consider all of the things that you would least want your teen to do, mine did every single one of them. Drugs, smoking, self-harm, pregnancy scares, rehab, anorexia, bulimia, expelled from two private schools, under-aged tattoos and piercings, selling nudes, being dragged back home by the police, suicide attempts.

The EXCRUCIATING conversations I've had with headmistresses, school counsellors, deputy heads and the judgement from the other parents.

She had everything, riding lessons, music lessons, sailing lessons, loads of international travel, amazing schools, loads of parental support and involvement, international sports competitions and overseas training camps for her sport (we were in Australia so a much bigger deal). Her behaviour from the age of 14 just came out of nowhere and it's fair to say that it's affected me deeply.

She's nearly 19 now and got a mental health diagnosis (BPD/EUPD) after multiple referrals to the adolescent mental health team and about a year of treatment with a psychiatrist, psych wards and ongoing sessions with a psychologist. She's not normal by any means but is stable on medication.

So the moral of my story is 1) maybe they're not so bad and 2) consider mental health.

I feel your pain I came to breaking point afew days ago and call SS for help told them to take him elsewhere or I'd just up and leave they came out before the weekend and found him a place at supported living he's 16 and bigger than me I just had enough of the abuse the weed and the drinking the list goes on I don't care what anyone as to say but I couldn't do it anymore

I have a 15 year old so angry and I can't cope no more to the point I had to ring the police this evening. He was getting in my face telling to hit him because he wants to die. He put a hole in my wall when he punched it ripped the stair gate off the door. I did not want to ring the police but I had no choice for mine his and his siblings safety. I have 3 other children and I'm 21 weeks pregnant. All started because I asked him to help clean up and to feed the dog and he started being rude to me so I took his phone off him then he went crazy at me. I have ask his school for help but the have failed to help I have had social involved because of my older 3 kids dad as he is abuser to me and to the children the kids don't see him any more but the damage to them is done. I have tried my best to get him help. I'm hoping by calling the police he will take the help if I get him into the doctors and get him the help he really needs

So here’s the thing, I actually can’t stand my son. He is 18 and for the past 2 years he has made my life a living hell. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I know I’m supposed to love him, he’s my child so I feel terrible. But I just can’t bring myself to want to even try with him anymore. I can’t speak to him without getting a torrid of abuse, I ask him for basic things like please turn down the volume it’s the middle of the night just to get ignored. He has 2 younger brothers who don’t want to speak to him because he just frustrates them. He won’t tidy up after himself, even his own bedroom. He causes fights with everyone in the house every single day. It’s gotten to the point that him and my partner can’t even be in the same room as each other because they always end up arguing and it’s close to coming to blows because he is getting aggressive up in peoples faces. He refuses to try and get a job but expects me to keep giving him money and if I do give him anything he tells me it’s not enough. What bothers me more than anything is that he wasn’t raised like this and when he is at other people homes he is respectful and would never dream of treating someone else the way he tries to treat the people in our home. It’s getting to the point I don’t think I can have him living with me much longer, my mental health is on the floor. Am I a bad mum? Is it normal to feel like this?