DS 15 holed up in room - what's your teenager doing?

[fuschia2000]

We've been away for couple of weeks and now back home with several weeks of the hidays in front of us - DH and I are at odds here - do we let DS make his own schedule ( hich is wake up midday/ stay in room all day watch tv/ gaming/ on phone ) or do we insist on a more healthy schedule ( out of room in afternoons for walks/ surfing/ tennis/ football etc?)? I am in second camp!!!! Which I think is a good balance of freedom and healthy living!!!

Any thoughts or suggestions???? Help!!!!!

Also do you require any hygiene schedule or is it left to teenager???? Feeling totally out of depth with teenage boys 😪😪😪

Mine is at school.....i hope lol.

This is very interesting as I've a 13 n 15 yo DSs. They re still innocent enough which is pretty relaxing. They ll meet friends to play basketball or tennis or cycle for a swim a few times a week. Other than that they're on the PlayStation. The PlayStation is in the living room of open plan house tho so we get to see them(this happened accidentally due to practicalities but is great I'd recommend) . They will walk the dog, do a few small jobs when I ask(harass them.

Sorry wasn't finished..
The older sleeps til lunchtime every day, the 13 yo still gets up around 9.
Some evenings we rent movies on YouTube (or just Netflix) which is a nice way of spending time together at this stage.
Their younger sister I find much more difficult as she's on her own and there's no kids on the road so she spends lots of time on screens on her own already which I am finding hard to manage.

I feel like I'm constantly nagging ds to leave his room. He is up through voice by 8am every day, and always eats meals with us. His Xbox is downstairs but when he's not on that he'll be on his phone in his bedroom. It drives me mad!
He gets bored but I've got to stop spoon feeding him ideas of what to do. Not sporty but will come out on walks happily, but never through his suggestion.

My DD is 15 and quite active, like today we drove back from holiday from 6am to 12ish then she got the bus went to 6th form open meeting, got bus, met friends, then went to a party.

DS 14 is asd and very young in comparison. He often is just with our cat, silkie chickens or with his indoor rabbit snuggled on sofa ipad in one hand, tv remote in the other, rabbit munching away stretched out having a lazy boys day. Though this holiday he has done kayaking, canoeing, beach, climbing rocks, trampoloning, eating out, theme park, funfair, helicopter ride, small plane ride, swimming, walks by himself so getting back to being active again after hibernating for lockdown. Not great at socialising as he says he prefers his pets to people, says he sees enough children at school and needs to be reminded to bathe or change clothes.

Blimey I never moan at my kids about time spent in their rooms. They are happy enough doing their own thing and when they get bored (which is at least once or twice a day) they come chat to me/go out/come to work with me and DH (family business) and earn some money doing jobs.

I have a 15yo son too (and an older one).

He has a job and sport/hobby, beyond that and school his free time is his own. Some days this involves sleeping til 3 and lolling around his room in his underpants until he goes back to bed. He seems to choose the most perfect, warm sunny days to do this!

I'll give him a nudge if he's not keeping himself or his room clean but don't see any benefit in going to war over it if he's happy and doing well.

@KOKOagainandagain I understand your son's special needs may warrant that approach, and it could help build a daily routine. But what you've described is not what I'd describe as fostering independence. Quite the opposite - his day is very tightly controlled by you.