No exaggeration. And I am at my wits end to know what to do with her. This has been going on for easily eighteen months or more now.
She is 15, nearly 16. She has always been messy and even as a younger child it took a LOT of pressure to make her tidy it up but now it's at another level and I've just had it but also at a loss to know what to do about it.
If we even MENTION it in any way, she kicks off, screams and shouts about her mental health, says that's the reason she hasn't done it and that we don't care about it. I'm bloody sure her hovel of a bedroom is not helping her mental or physical health in any way but that's beside the point. She then either stomps up to her room or this time she has gone across the road to a friend's house. I feel that this girl's mother doesn't particularly help the situation. DD has run off there before after an argument; she slipped out of the house without telling anyone at gone midnight one night and went there. We had a feeling that's where she had gone, so my DH went across and knocked on the door. They were hiding in the kitchen because he could see them peeping out through the blind. This was the mother, I mean, so that was spectacularly unhelpful of her. It was only when I messaged dd that I was calling the police because we didn't know where she was that the mother let us know she was there.
The thing is, last year she attempted suicide. She won't tell me why, although I am almost certain there was a specific trigger. She has had a lot of problems at school over the last couple of years as well, with people falling out with her and it's got rather nasty, with former friends ganging up on her and people sending her vile messages on social media and by text, ending with her refusing to go to school this summer. She initially went back on a reduced timetable and then was to go in full time. She went back one day and the next day was sent home because someone in her year had covid. That was the end of the school year, so I have no idea if this is going to continue into next term or not.
So yes, there are issues. I have done everything I can to support her, I really have. And yet, every time this comes up, she starts on about how we haven't done anything to help her and we don't care. I could just cry. She doesn't like talking to people so wasn't interested in cbt via zoom, which was about all that was available last year. (CAHMS closed her case pretty quickly after her suicide attempt.) I think she imagines there's more help out there than there actually is and I'm just not bothering to try to access it. 
The truth is, nobody seems terribly interested unless there's an actual crisis. Which sucks.
So the problem is twofold really. One, the state of her bedroom. And two, the fact that she (and I don't know if this is exactly the right way to phrase it) uses her issues to evade the subject because every time it's brought up she just shuts the conversation down in this way. She won't willingly let any of us in there (not that we'd go in by choice) and won't let me help her do it.
I have no idea where to go from here. Please, any advice? And please be kind, I'm feeling pretty fragile myself.