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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

To allow teens aged 13 and 15 to go to sporting event alone?

30 replies

vestastilly · 10/08/2021 08:38

I would like your advice here as DH says I am being over protective of the kids but I just can’t allow this as I don’t think it’s safe. DS 15 wants to take DD 13 out for the day to watch the cricket. I cannot go as I am at work as is DH. It involves a 30 minute train ride to the city, a 30 minute walk and a day at the cricket ground in their own. DD does not like cricket and will be bored. Chances are that she will leave the ground and go off shopping in the town on her own. My biggest issue is with DD and DH not being supervised by an adult. It is a daytime game so I suspect people will be drinking and I am not happy about DD or DH using the toilets without an adult at least being around. DS said he would go on his own, but again I would be worried that someone would spot a young looking 15 year old on his own and follow him into the toilets. Am I being overprotective and worrying too much about what could happen?

OP posts:
WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 10/08/2021 08:39

If this is real, you are being ridiculous

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/08/2021 08:42

Which game?
If its an Hundred game, tickets are really being pushed at families of the younger sections of cricket so there will be lots of families around.

Has he not got any friends who might want to go?

Fiddliestofsticks · 10/08/2021 08:47

Jesus. No wonder we're ending up with a whole bunch of snowflakes who cant function as adults and have no idea how to be responsible.

Really OP, you are being completely and utterly ridiculous. I got my first job at 15 and it was a 25 minute train ride into the nearest city, then a walk through that city. I also started going to the cinema alone (well, with at least one friend) at 12, when we started high school. That was the same train ride and then we walked around the city to shop/go out to eat etc.

If you're kids have never done anything like this alone before then you have made massive mistakes.

NaToth · 10/08/2021 08:48

I might think twice about football at that age, but cricket? He'll be fine. Probably better to go with his mates though if DD is really not interested.

AlternativePerspective · 10/08/2021 08:50

You’re worried about a 15 year old being followed into the toilet? Wtf?

Angel2702 · 10/08/2021 08:50

I think worrying about 15 year olds needing to be supervised in a toilet is very over the top. Surely they go out with their friends without an adult regularly without adult supervision? Travel to school, use public transport during the day?

AlternativePerspective · 10/08/2021 08:52

I’m guessing the OP meant to say they were 5 and 3, ;) if not I suspect they’ll both be off as soon as they’re old enough to escape.

Hercisback · 10/08/2021 08:53

They'll be fine.

somewhereovertherain · 10/08/2021 08:53

How is this even a bloody question.

We are truly fucked as a nation.

LawnFever · 10/08/2021 08:54

The only thing that would bother me is why take Dd if she’s likely to be bored at the cricket, can’t he go with a friend instead who will enjoy it more?

The rest of your worries are really over the top and unnecessary.

FAQs · 10/08/2021 08:54

@Fiddliestofsticks

Jesus. No wonder we're ending up with a whole bunch of snowflakes who cant function as adults and have no idea how to be responsible.

Really OP, you are being completely and utterly ridiculous. I got my first job at 15 and it was a 25 minute train ride into the nearest city, then a walk through that city. I also started going to the cinema alone (well, with at least one friend) at 12, when we started high school. That was the same train ride and then we walked around the city to shop/go out to eat etc.

If you're kids have never done anything like this alone before then you have made massive mistakes.

This!
ExpressDelivery · 10/08/2021 08:54

Why does he want to take DD if she's not interested?

If she wanted to go, I'd say yes of course how lovely for both of them and really, 13 & 15yo can't use public toilets on their own?

As she doesn't want to go, he should go on his own or with a friend.

somewhereovertherain · 10/08/2021 08:56

By the way the biggest risk to some one abusing your kids is you, your family and friends and not strangers.

Seeline · 10/08/2021 08:57

Cricket matches are very safe - fans are always very helpful and friendly. A 15 and 13 yo will be fine. Even if your DD does wander off to the shops as long as she is familiar with the town and has a phone, I don't really see a problem.

Surely they have both been going to the toilet on their own for many years?

ExpressDelivery · 10/08/2021 08:59

I did an esaftey course recently and they explained that you don't keep you child safe by banning anything, you need to teach them how to do things safely while they're still young enough to be supervised.

They likened it to walking on a cliff top. You wouldn't keep them on reigns and then just set them free at 16 (or whenever), you gradually let them go whilst teaching them to stay away from the edge.

If your son can't go to cricket at 15, when will it be safe to let him go?

Oblomov21 · 10/08/2021 09:00

What seriously ? No wonder they are snowflakes. But why take DD if she doesn't like cricket. Ds2 should take a mate aged 15.

UserStillatLarge · 10/08/2021 09:00

As with others, the only odd point is going to the cricket with a non-cricket lover.
Presumably they've been going to other public places and using toilets there on their own for quite some time now, so why should the cricket be any different?

user1493494961 · 10/08/2021 09:01

At the age of 15 yrs and one month, DH started work as an Apprentice for a company 150 miles away from home and lived in lodgings. You're being ridiculous.

AlternativePerspective · 10/08/2021 09:03

I actually think this level of over protection is a form of child abuse.

Bringing children up to be this fearful with no independence skills is something which can only ever harm them and is emotional abuse, IMO

YesDisney · 10/08/2021 09:05

Well weird to want to take DD if she doesn’t actually want to go, but the rest is crazy cakes.

You don’t let your 15 and 13yos go to the toilet unsupervised? 😂😂😂😂

Bibbetybobbity · 10/08/2021 09:17

This can’t be real. If it is you need to consider what you’re hoping to achieve by being this protective. You can’t eradicate danger- and you’re creating risk (ironically) by leaving your kids so inexperienced! Let them go, teens have had too much time cooped up indoors over the course of the pandemic…

LemonRoses · 10/08/2021 09:47

Do you seriously follow your teenagers to the lavatories at the beach or in a shopping centre? No wonder children have anxiety problems.

Your daughter might surprise you and enjoy the day.

AlmostSummer21 · 10/08/2021 09:53

I'd encourage DS to go with a friend

Why is he saying he wants to take DD when she's not interested in cricket??

As for DS being followed into the toilets, at cricket, your being VERY VERY odd, it makes me wonder how else you restrict you teenagers.

Fiddliestofsticks · 10/08/2021 11:30

Does he maybe want to take his sister because he wants her to start getting some independence?
He's clearly grown up with none. He will have watched his friends being given independence while he had his mum walk him to the toilets. Maybe he wants his sister to get away from you for a day?

Dozer · 10/08/2021 11:32

If DD doesn’t like cricket, DD should stay home alone.

DS will be fine to go alone, or with a friend.

YABVU on the toilet fears, he’s 15!