leaving home at 16

[manda72]

my son says he is not coming home. Do I legally have to provide food etc for him if he leaves home? Do I also have to let him back in the house after being verbally abusive

www.familylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline/

Children are often verbally abusive but they don't always mean it; parents are too.

Why does your son not want to come home and do you know where he is?

He’s 16, sometime people, especially teenagers, but adults too say horrible hurtful things they don’t truly mean when they’re angry.

He may say he’s not coming home, but without knowing what’s happened it’s hard to say whether he means it or he’s just trying to upset you. At 16 I don’t think you are obliged to support a child if they choose to leave, but 16 is still very young and unless he’s done something unforgivable I would be trying to encourage him to come home. Even if you can’t have him at home I’d want to make sure he’s safe and provided for.

It sounds like you’re going though a tough time OP.

Where is he going to live instead? The garden shed?

I moved out at 16, rented a flat and got a job, so I assume he has a better plan than the garden shed 😅
I'm not actually sure that you have to, but I'd help. It's not easy being out so young, if you really believe he's going.

Where is he at the moment? Where's he intending on staying?

Dd moved out at 17 and managed.
I wasn't legally required to provide anything for her, and I didn't.

I think in this situation you need to back off a bit.
'You're 16 you can move out if you want and I will do what I can to support you. We love you and If you want to come back you are always welcome' sort of thing.
Remember things are said in the heat of the moment, giving him a way back in without losing face can make such a difference to a stroppy teen who thinks they know it all.
Make home a safe place that he can always come back to, pick your battles and try and just have essential boundaries. Sometimes with teens the more you restrict the worst they get. Have your non negotiables and let the small stuff go.

we have tried everything unfortunately he is being manipulated by his 18yr old girlfriend and her mother!! This has been threatened for the last few months now its risen to a higher standard. Nithing we can do but sit back and offer help when he needs it whilst she tries to manipulate him and get money off us

I don't think you legally have to give him money, but if you think there's manipulation you might need to get social services involved because coercion is wrong

We are in a similar situation. My daughter has run away to a friend's house and we believe her parents have manipulated the situation (God only knows why). Social services are involved and have advised just to give her space. It has been three weeks now and I am broken. We can't do anything even though we have serious concerns about the people she is staying with but I am not making it easy for them by giving her financial support. I am just praying she comes home.

@manda72

we have tried everything unfortunately he is being manipulated by his 18yr old girlfriend and her mother!! This has been threatened for the last few months now its risen to a higher standard. Nithing we can do but sit back and offer help when he needs it whilst she tries to manipulate him and get money off us

I don't understand the girl's mother in this situation one bit. Your boy is sixteen for goodness sake, her own common sense should tell her it's not right. He's a schoolboy, her daughter is legally an adult!

The woman has strange standards unless her daughter is a bully who manipulates her mum.

He'll come home, manda.

Well, I certainly wouldn't pay a penny towards his 'keep'.

If she wants to house and feed your son for free then let her! Tell him he is always welcome to come home and leave the door open for him.

Meanwhile his GFs mother can pay for his clothes, trainers, food, phone, X box, etc. I have a 16 year old. They are expensive!

MadMadMadam, you are so right.