How much do you comment on your teenager's appearance?

[KEVINChristmas]

Of they're wearing clothes that are too small, see-through, unflattering for example. Would you say anything?

I try not to criticise. I mostly tell them they look nice.

I have on one or two occasions told dd1 that maybe in this situation eg college induction day, that hot pants and a crop top may not be the best choice of outfit.

I think a lot of this is to do with the way your family talk to each other anyway, and have talked to each other for all their childhood.
You have to build up some resilience from when they are tiny. You have to actually work on building self esteem with your dc.
I've read posts on here where posters have been told they shouldn't "allow" the dc's Dad to gently tease their own dc "in case it upsets them". You do your dc no favours in bringing them up not learning how to respond to people saying things to them that they might not want to hear. As long as it is balanced out with compliments (genuinely and honestly meant), and with fun and laughter, then of course a parent should be aiming to have the sort of relationship where they aren't afraid to offer some advice and the occasional adverse comment.
But the gorund work comes before they hit their teens.

Only really if he's grown out of something/ he's wearing something dirty/ he's not dressed for the weather. I also tell him when he needs a haircut or needs to cut his nails. He has additional needs and wouldn't necessarily notice any of these things himself. He's recently got really in to fashion and clothes- very rarely to my taste but I try my best to leave him to it!

I often have to tell my DD to not wear certain things that are dirty or stained because she's been walking over them for a week.

My mum always told me I looked good even when I clearly looked like a tramp. It's taken years for me to learn to look even slightly presentable. Some constructive criticism would have helped.

I'd tell them if something was see through! Otherwise just positive stuff

Every day I tell how lovely she looks, for work, for 6th form, for going out. I don't always agree that she has dressed appropriately for the occasion but I never ever knock her. If its totally inappropriate I guide her rather than criticise

Rarely, and then almost always positively.

I'll comment if trousers are looking too short and need replacing. I told one her swimming costume was starting to go see through at the back recently so she knew to replace it. If anyone seems to really need a shower, or has spilt something but is unaware of it I'll say.
But otherwise, I'll say if I like something they've bought or they've put together an outfit that I like (one kid is about the same size as me and we very occasionally borrow each other's stuff too), or comment nicely if they've got a haircut or something. But mostly I don't comment on any of it much.
None of them wear anything I'd consider inappropriate really - we're all pretty casual/scruffy. Not sure what I'd do in that case, but probably as little as I could bear!

I give lots of compliments to my two girls(17 & 20) but I will say they look fantastic in something but that it will attract some unwanted attention(if it’s particularly skimpy) but now they are at an age where they’ll do what they want and are generally sensible. I also tell them they are smart, hard working, kind etc

This is a really tricky one for me! I have 2 boys who are pretty easy, although DS1 who is 21 doesnt wash or cut his hair often enough 😆
DD is 19 and quite big, and doesn't always look the best - I try to say things look lovely but occasionally (last week) she wears something really unflattering! I'm torn between thinking it's great that she's comfortable in it, and wishing she would wear something more flattering. She is beautiful but she wants to wear what her friends are wearing and it doesn't always work. Before I get jumped on, I compliment her a lot!

I have a teenage ds and I do need to badger him about hygiene (consistently wearing deodorant and changing his clothes). I also suggest occasionally that trousers 2 inches too short isn't the best look and ask him if he needs new ones - other than that he can crack on.

I have boys, which I think, like it or not, does make quite a difference. They are usually fully covered.

I tend to comment on the practicality of the clothing rather than the appearance. DS2 wears a hoodie no matter how hot it is, so I'll try to persuade him he'll be more comfortable in something else.

I'll tell them if I think they look good, but I really don't care if they look scruffy or badly coordinated. They know there are certain things they need to be smart for (job interview) but other than that aren't bothered about clothes. Which is a good thing in my book.

Boys fully covered? Mine walk around with no tops, often just wearing pants

Have to remind them to put clothes in if we have guests

About comments: yes we comment , mostly positive or practical

They wear what they like

Kite22, I find your post quite sinister. It sounds like you're indoctrinating them in to a cult, prepping them to accept office 'banter'.

The only thing I ever really comment on is how lovely his glasses are on.

Oh, and ask for T-shirt’s on at the dinner table please or I might be inclined to remove my own

Yes - teenagers might well need guidance on skin care, hygiene, dressing for a particular occasion or if they’ve outgrown something.

I don’t see that as in any way negative but the sort of parenting I would have found helpful.

I’ll tell my dd if I think her hair needs a wash or if her eyebrows are too dark but generally she always looks good so it’s mostly positive. She is a scruffbag though due to her hobby so wears clothes with massive holes and sometimes sleeps in a T-shirt and wears it the next day. I’ll call her out on that one but what she wears is her choice so I generally don’t say anything.

Dd is autistic and has sensory issues, consequently she tend to buy clothes that are too small for her as she can't tell what is properly fitting, even shoes. So I will tell her if I think something is bulging at the seams.

Quite a lot.
Positives - not many

Those jeans look good
I like your haircut
You look smart in that suit

Negatives- lots

You need a haircut
You need a shave
Your jeans are too short
Your legs are too long
Your jeans are dirty
Your t shirt is too small
Your shorts are too short

My parents constantly badgered us about our appearances and it has left us with confidence issues. It was way beyond 'go have a shower, you havnt had one in 3 days' or 'might want to think about a jumper, its cold out' which would have been fair enough it was constant, uninvited commentary:
Your hairs too long, it needs cutting
That skirt is too short
That jumper is far too big
That eye makeup is too dark
You should wear your hair up, it looks awful hanging in your face
Those colours dont match
Why are you wearing those
Why have you bought that
That blue looks awful
I'd get 1 positive comment for every 10 negative ones.
As a result, i can never look in the mirror without picking out all the tiny minute flaws, i buy endless clothing i dont need trying to get stuff that will make me look 'right', and i still get tearful over silly clothing/appearance things as an adult. It has taken up way too much of my brain space. I am a resilient person in all other areas of life and everyone i know would be shocked to know how much it consumes me.
Unless you are complimenting them, or unless its the odd practical/hygienic suggestion, or unless they ASK your opinion, dont give it! You wouldnt do it to a friend, so dont do it to your kids.