16yr old taking drugs

[Helpmyson]

I have looked on his phone and he has taken ketamine, LsD , weed and alcohol, he has sometimes mixed . He has only taken a handful.of times, but I think weed is regular .
We have curfew of 11pm but he has slept over at friends 3 times this summer , he always tells us where he is going and who he is with . I have stopped his allowance and cut up his debit card he is furious and has punched wall
What should I do ? He is now angry and resentful, particularly about me looking on his phone ,
Was I wrong to give consequences
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Well I’d have talked to him about it first and gone from there. I dabbled in drugs myself from the age of 17 and nobody reacted like a lunatic over it. It’s often a rite of passage.

I think you are completely right to have given consequences. Teenagers on the whole do try risky behaviour and it’s our jobs as parents to steer them through these tough times. Hopefully he will see that what you’ve done is in his best interest although it may be a long time away.

You're not wrong to give consequences but had you talked to him about these consequences before cutting up his bank card? I'd also be furious about this - weed is one thing, ketamine and LSD is quite another and I'd be raising an eyebrow at any parent who thought this was OK and a 'right of passage'.

We have had an increase in risky behaviours since Jan, vodka and staying out late we have talked all the way through this, so this is the first serious consequence, wehave never grounded him , he is furious and am scared hewill now take more drugs . I am continuing to talk to him but so worried he is 16

Sorry you haven't had many replies on this. It must be incredibly worrying.

Drugs is a tough one because teenagers just see us as clueless over reacting old farts. Do you have any personal experience to draw on so you can level with him?

The thing that is most concerning is that every so often there's a kid who experiments just the same as their friends do but have a predisposition to addiction and end up over their heads. You don't know what kind of kid you have until it's too late.

I think I'd take the approach that he can always call you if there's a problem, make sure he knows the safety precautions. Tell him he cant have it in the house. And keep a close eye on his temperament/ relationships/ behaviour

Realistically you can't stop him so get on side

If it was just weed, I’d say let him get it out of his system, it’s a phase a lot of teens go through and most come out the other side none the worse for their experience.

Ketamine and LSD are a bit different. Especially the ketamine. You’re so out of it when you take it that it makes you really vulnerable. I hate the stuff and I dabbled a lot in drugs as a teen.

I probably wouldn’t have gone mad, but they would have definitely had a serious talk about the dangers. I don’t think a period of grounding is the worst thing. It’ll give him time to reflect a bit on his behaviour. I would go at it from an angle of being concerned about his safety when he is taking the harder drugs. I’d be tempted to let the weed go in order to sort of meet him half way and not seem to stuffy and out of touch. He may take you more seriously then. 🤷‍♀️