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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Nose piercing

19 replies

shiningcuckoo · 02/08/2021 10:32

My 15 year old daughter wants her nose pierced. As long as the piercing is a small stud, school is fine with it. I don't care. It's not irreversible and not a big deal to me. I have said as far as I'm concerned it's ok with me. Her dad (my ex) is refusing to give her the go ahead. It's a no from him. I think she'll go and get it done anyway. No doubt I'll get it in the neck if she does that. Should I pay any regard to his opinion? I feel pretty uncomfortable saying no simply because he is saying no.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2021 11:59

What's his reason for saying no?

How would you feel is there was something you didn't want her to do, but he was fine with it? Would you want him to consider your opinion?

titchy · 02/08/2021 12:06

Does she need his permission? I think she can get it done aged 16 without parental permission so maybe worth waiting till then?

Original poster
shiningcuckoo · 02/08/2021 12:23

She doesn't need his permission at the moment. Not in the country where I live. He is saying no because he doesn't like pierced noses. And is girlfriend thinks they are disgusting, apparently. Also piercing her nose is a gateway into drugs culture. Apparently. . My daughter asked him about it because she didn't want him to feel left out. It's like he thinks that his opinion is the one that carries weight. It doesn't matter what my daughter thinks nor that I'm fine with it. What he says goes. Sigh. It's like turning the clock back 7 years. As an aside my own nose is pierced. A tiny diamond stud. Super discreet. He didn't have a problem with that back in the day.

OP posts:
titchy · 02/08/2021 12:55

Well in that case she should get it done. If it's legal. No big deal, whatever he says. She could tell him she's getting her tongue pierced instead....

SquirryTheSquirrel · 02/08/2021 13:02

Just to say there are dangers associated with nose-piercing. It should be your DD's choice from an aesthetic perspective - purely a matter of taste, but I would suggest your DD reads up on the subject so she can make an informed choice. People have been left with long term damage to the nose/cosmetic injuries.

Benjispruce5 · 05/08/2021 10:20

DD got one at 16 without us knowing . We hated it . She’s 20 now and still wearing it. She’s at uni and lots of girls have them. I don’t notice it anymore.

Benjispruce5 · 05/08/2021 10:21

I reasoned in the end that it’s reversible.

Biancadelrioisback · 05/08/2021 10:25

I did this when I was 16.
I'm now 30 something and my dad still threatens to fill it with polyfiller
I think a teen who has made up their mind about something like this will probably do it regardless. I'd make him aware of this and say that you can't agree if he disagrees, so she either works on him or she goes against your collective stance and deals with the consequences.

Angryattrackandtrace · 05/08/2021 10:26

Well if she doesn’t need his permission she should just get it done.

My dad didn’t like it when I cut my hair. He told me I didn’t look like me abs that he couldn’t wait for it to grow out.

I regularly keep my hair shorter now. 🤷🏻‍♀️

pinkyredrose · 05/08/2021 10:29

Why was he even asked? It's her body ffs.

summersolstice43 · 05/08/2021 10:34

I got my nose pierced when I was 16 and I'm in my 40's now. I wear it for work (hoop) and no one bats an eyelid. I've not gone down the drugs route, I have a full time stable job , my own home, no debt etc so your ex is completely wrong. Plus, nose piercing is custom in some religions so its not 'wrong'

redtshirt50 · 05/08/2021 10:35

I got a nose piercing when I was younger and loved it!

I didn't ask anyone's permission, I was 17 though.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 05/08/2021 10:50

She could easily wear a retainer stud that would be hard pushed to see. However as you have your nose pierced I find it interesting that he was fine with you doing it but not his daughter. Could the girlfriend's views have anything to do with it?

I had mine done when I was at university however I did defy my Mother and had a second piercing in one ear at 14 with my Saturday job money. She was not impressed but was hardly going to wrestle it out of my ear.

I would let her do it, it is her body, her choice and perfectly legal.

IvyTwines2 · 05/08/2021 10:54

If it's a septum ring, and a big silver or grey one, they make you look like a farm animal, someone's livestock, a pig or a bull to be 'led by the nose', or a permanent gunky snot drip. If it's a slimmer gold one, it's 'cultural appropriation' unless you're from one of the cultures that traditionally wears them. And in Covid times I can't imagine doing anything that interferes with your airways and requires additional disinfecting is a good idea.

Lellochip · 05/08/2021 11:04

@IvyTwines2

If it's a septum ring, and a big silver or grey one, they make you look like a farm animal, someone's livestock, a pig or a bull to be 'led by the nose', or a permanent gunky snot drip. If it's a slimmer gold one, it's 'cultural appropriation' unless you're from one of the cultures that traditionally wears them. And in Covid times I can't imagine doing anything that interferes with your airways and requires additional disinfecting is a good idea.
No.
Onthebrink87 · 05/08/2021 11:08

Oh ivy 😂😂 as the kids would say "take several seats"

Saidtoomuch · 05/08/2021 12:03

I personally wouldn't want my dd to have one, but once she is 16 it would be up to her.
However, if you dd doesn't need parental consent in the country you live in, and / or if you are the (I assume) resident parent and give consent then he doesn't really get to have an opinion.
I strongly suspect the gf's motivation for saying they are disgusting is more about the fact that you have one. Lots of women have them for cultural reasons, so to say they are disgusting is just offensive.

Original poster
shiningcuckoo · 07/08/2021 05:14

So I told her to talk to her Dean at school and get detailed confirmation of what is allowed. Which she did. And he told her to go for it! She then texted her dad and said that as school was gone and I am fine and she wants to, then she is going to just go and get it done. He then backed town! And I think she has learnt something about dealing with a situation clearly and logically.

OP posts:
Original poster
shiningcuckoo · 07/08/2021 05:14

School was ok, not gone!

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