What signs can I look out for ds smoking weed...

[Meltinthemiddle]

I know he smokes and vapes but I just have a feeling it may lead in to weed. But what should I be looking out for?

What does he mean he isn’t lying for it?
Nobody gives drugs out for free, there will be something expected in return.

Lying = paying?

I never smoked weed but my ex boyfriend was smoking it every day so here are some odd things I noticed in him.

Being very depressed and couldn’t be bothered to do anything some days

Manipulative when it comes to money: always looking for ways to not having to pay etc so he had money for his weed

Not getting out of bed until afternoon most days

Eating, eating, eating (the munchies) after smoking

Having friends with the same interest

I know that as a long term effect he has memory loss

And the most obvious: the smell

Hope this lists helps OP

He's not paying for it. Mates are giving it to him

Weed stinks - it's a slightly sweet but very pungent smell that intensifies as it wafts. If you have ever burned incense, it's that sort of strength smell, you would know it when you smelt it.

That’s odd.
I would be worried they want something in return or they want to make him hooked on it (contrary to popular belief that it’s not possible, you can actually get addicted to smoking weed albeit that it’s mostly a mental addiction) and then start charging him for it.

you can also get THC liquid to put into vapes - this is even more worrying that smoking weed, some THC liquids have been known to have the drug 'spice' in them!

OP - PLEASE GOOGLE CUCKOOING AND COUNTY LINES

I use to work as a residential care worker for troubled teens in the care system. I dont want to panic you, as it may not be the case - but please do your research and look for any other signs or patterns xx

Im seriously worried. He wants the bags back?? Why woudl he want them back unless he's selling? I feel sick and numb.

Friends or not, drugs are expensive especially to teens without income, they won’t be doing it out of the goodness of their heart.

@Meltinthemiddle

Im seriously worried. He wants the bags back?? Why woudl he want them back unless he's selling? I feel sick and numb.

because they are probably not his for his own use - im assuming if hes been given them by a friend, there will be expecting something in return. Thats how these things work - as sillya s it sounds i would give them him back, and take him to give them back to the 'friend' he got them from. The last thing he wants to happen is end up in any sort fo debt

I know they will want something in return hence why I'm worried. But hes obsesses with having the empty bags back? He said he's not dealing, holding or passing it on. First he did it the once then its a few times. Smoking it is one thing but dealing or owing is another so I'm worried sick.

@Meltinthemiddle

I know they will want something in return hence why I'm worried. But hes obsesses with having the empty bags back? He said he's not dealing, holding or passing it on. First he did it the once then its a few times. Smoking it is one thing but dealing or owing is another so I'm worried sick.

hmmmm - ive never heard of anyone being bothered about empty bags before? Thats certainly not a normal drug related thing, has your DS had any unusual obsessions before?

Yes I'd be much more worried about cuckooing and county lines. They target vulnerable people.

People don't give away multiple bags of weed for nothing.

I'm not sure why he would want the drugs back. I wonder if he thinks maybe you'll go to the Police and they'll finger print them or something??

He won't be getting it for free, but that doesn't mean he's necessarily dealing. Does he get pocket money or have a part time job?

Do keep a close watch on him though. My friends DS was arrested for dealing at 17. She had no idea (she knew he was smoking it) It's very easy for youngsters to get sucked in, especially if they're a bit vulnerable and they're short of cash. It seems like an easy way to make a bit of money. They also seem to think it's glamorous and feel it makes them more 'gangster'. You can see why it's attractive to a teenager who is desperate to fit in. It's a slippery slope as once they're in that social network, it's difficult to get out of again.

I don't really know the answer, but shouting and harsh punishments won't work, you'll just drive him away.

Sorry, first sentence should say 'I'm not sure why he would want the bags back'

How do you drive them away from it? I dotn know how he doesn't seem to care. But cried when I confronted him. He was angry and upset but wouldn't speak to me.

It stinks! But if they’re doing it away from the home and outside (and don’t come back straight away) it’s harder to spot.
I see that you’ve found you were right. All you can do is tell him your concerns in a rational manner. If it’s not his own stash you don’t have much control, unfortunately.
So many teens smoke weed and the odd social spliff isn’t too problematic in my eyes. It’s when it becomes a daily habit, they can’t function etc when it’s a real problem & nipping it in the bud before then is key.

As for the bags, that is odd. Is he dealing?

@Meltinthemiddle

How do you drive them away from it? I dotn know how he doesn't seem to care. But cried when I confronted him. He was angry and upset but wouldn't speak to me.

Sadly OP you can’t drive them away from it - they drift away from it themselves or they have a bloody hard knock that makes them stop (as with DS23 - too long a story but I went to hell and back and he is now clean and much improved) - For most of my son’s friends it was a phase - just keep talking to him and try not to be overly emotional, panicky or judgemental (incredibly difficult as a Mum) - with my son I had to involve the justice system and mental health services as his behaviour became dangerous - your son may be using it as a coping mechanism - is there another trusted adult he could have a chat with?

You can’t drive them away from it.
It’s almost always a phase, sometimes a really long one.

If it’s cuckooing or anything like that then he’ll need to trust you and to feel like he can tell you anything if he does say anything (accurate) at all. So being understanding and not judgmental is key.

If it’s experimental then holding him closer will be the best option; pushing him away whether it be through arguing over what you think is right or what he’s been doing in the past will just push him into that life even more.

It’s tough though.
I went as deep as you can go, my dad stuck by me the whole time, silently making sure I was always safe and it was that relationship that allowed me to get back into normal life when I was ready. Now nobody would ever know.

I will do exactly the same when my two get to that point, as I’m sure a large proportion do.

Not sure if he's dealing. I did get upset and emotional. He has issues with anxiety etc so this really isn't a good path for him. It has been my worst fear because of his mentla health and vulnerability. I thought he was settling down with his gf. I don't know what the hell to do. I will not tolerate drugs or dealing in my house I have another child to think of too. I'm so angry, hurt, and upset with him. I've always warned him, spoke to him about it.

Of course, no parent would tolerate that either I don’t think.
Holding him close doesn’t have to mean anything other than making sure he has a safe space with you to tell you things (and get a calm response), a safe place to be and no pressure.