DS14 / Snapchat/ friends / mental health …help!

[Nixand2]

Hi
DS 14 is currently having a huge crisis because we took his phone away (it was a temporary thing) as he hadn’t done as we asked earlier)
We have been keeping a close eye on his Snapchat usage as we felt it was becoming an issue and his reaction to not being allowed on it for a few hours has reinforced this .
He is having the mother of all meltdowns saying we don’t care etc etc, basically sounding like a total addict trying to win us over.
During the meltdown he has spoken about friendship issues and it seems that whilst he appears popular his self esteem is very low and he feels he will lose his friendships really easily- mainly if he curtails Snapchat. He is very sociable and goes out lots with different groups of mates , fishing, football etc so he’s not stick in his room.

I suppose I am wondering if a) anyone has any experience of Snapchat addiction and if this sounds familiar b) is taking away a 14 year olds phone ever fair and c) if he is overexposed to Snapchat but has low self esteem , is going cold turkey the right thing?

Sorry for a rambling post, tired and frazzled mum here x

It's not Snapchat that gives them low self esteem in my experience but rather instagram and depending on what they watch, TikTok. Is he on those platforms much?

Also, do you check his snapchat? To see what the quality of chat is like?

I've checked my teens (13) and hers is all weird pics of her female mates's faces at odd angles and comments about what they're doing
"Eating chips"

Very mundane.

I asked dd about how Snapchat works recently and (I may have got this wrong) it seems that once you look at a message you have to answer it or you are ‘airing’ (ignoring) them. So you just send a quick photo of your face to acknowledge the message, or answer it. She was getting hundreds of message, lots of them just from friends of friends, so she hasn’t even met them in person. This was taking (wasting) a huge amount of her time. I was trying to tell her what a waste of her life this was, when she could be doing other things, but they don’t get it - Snapchat is the be all and end all. I am deleting it from her phone for our summer holidays in an attempt to prove that she can live without it… I really hate smartphones with such a passion now. But then here I am, 7.45am and on my smartphone… how can I blame her when we are all on them all the time too?

Thank you.

It is really hard as social media is here to stay and I probably would have been the same if it had been around in my day.

We’ve had a long chat with DS now the dust has settled and he has agreed to spend some time without his phone on to give him a break and reduce his screen time

Snap chat is horrendously addictive. They have to snap everyday to maintain/ increase their streaks. It's a bit like keeping a ball in the air. I once took my DDs phone away for s few days to break the streaks and break the hold it had on her. I think she isn't so obsessive but is still addicted. I too would like to see her grow out of this utter waste of time.