14 year olds summer holidays

[chocolatealldaylong]

How much freedom do you give your 14 year olds please? Do you ask that they keep you updated throughout the day with where they are if they are going into town and then hanging out with friends?

Being told I am overprotective (of course they they would say that!).

DD would also like to stay out later than 8 that I am considering as it's light. However I don't really know her friends so have concerns.

Thanks

Yes, mine lets me know when they move from place to place and with her agreement she’s on the find my friends app on my phone. 8 is late enough for me though, even if it is light.

Thanks that's good if I am being similar to others then. Yes I have DD on find a friends.

DD (15) is on the Find My Friends app on my phone (and I'm on hers). She lets me know if they move from their original destination to somewhere else but I wouldn't expect regular check ins as such.

The curfew time would depend on where she was going. After 8 I think I would want more contact but I would let her go - this may be more difficult when she reaches the age/friendship group where she is likely to try drinking though. At the moment I'm confident she isn't doing that.

I think knowing how to navigate the teen years as a parent is really difficult!

DD is my last teen. With her brothers I've always made it clear that it will come and bail them out whenever, wherever, no questions asked. My eldest is 22 and I still don't turn my phone off until he is home (I didn't do this when he was a Uni though!)

My 14yo was out a lot, had lots of friends and was very sociable. I downloaded Life360 onto all our phones so we can all track each other as a family and it’s made life less stressful. I can see where she is and she texts me if she wants to stay out. We have a kind of ‘sunset’ curfew so it’s about 9-9.30 in the summer, but I worry less if she’s in a group. On the rare occasions she’s messed up or made me cross we discuss why I’m worried and how we can avoid it happening again.

It’s about negotiations, and the better you both get at this now the better your relationship will be as she matures.

I like them to tell me the plan for the day and then update me if that changes. I ask what time they'll be back and would expect to message if they'll be late.

I'm happy for them to be out later than 8pm weekends/school holidays, but they don't do hanging round in the park, they're always somewhere specific (friends house/cinema/bowling etc.). I wouldn't want them out past 8pm if they were hanging around the park/streets.

Dd2 is 13. She’ll go off telling me a rough plan. I don’t expect updates, our town is o my a few miles across, so she can’t get that far. But I do expect her to answer my texts and to be home on time. She has to be home by 8 if she’s just hanging about, but could be later for something specific eg cinema.