Dd13 eating way too much.

[Jinnybean]

My dd was always a really slim child, and barely ate at all. But she’s gone the complete opposite now. She eats so much, and a lot of rubbish! When she goes out with her friends she buys chocolate etc. She’s put quite abit of weight on the last year and I’m really worried. Her face has completely changed.

Iv tried talking to her but she doesn’t see a problem.. I don’t know what to do :(

I'd say that's overweight. I'm 5.5 and 9 stone. I think I would tackle it as a family eating overhaul. Everyone eats better, cut down the carbs and crap, increase the protein.

Could you give an example of the kinds of things she eats for breakfast/lunch/dinner?

There is a such a fine line at that age between learning about making healthy choices and becoming obsessed with calories etc.

A lot of this might be hormonal - changing in shape, bad skin, increased appetite. But all you can do is offer healthy and filling food at home and equip her with a good understanding of what healthy eating is.

Thats a lot for a 13 year old. I weigh that and I'm 5'8 and by no means skinny. I would speak to the GP. I would increase her activity levels, sports clubs and cut right down on the frappes etc. Get her to try a skimmed ice latte with sugar free caramel syrup if she likes cold coffees!

Posting your own weight and telling the OP that her daughter is overweight is unhelpful. We don’t know the OP’s daughter’s ethnicity or body type. I’m 5ft 8 and weigh much more than 11 stone but I have an hour glass figure and I’m happy and healthy. No one knows what height or body shape the daughter will end up as. Being told you can’t eat certain things at 13 such as carbs and treats is a recipe for eating difficulties and body dysmorphia that may take the OPs daughter a lifetime to get over.

@Justalittlebitfurther

Posting your own weight and telling the OP that her daughter is overweight is unhelpful. We don’t know the OP’s daughter’s ethnicity or body type. I’m 5ft 8 and weigh much more than 11 stone but I have an hour glass figure and I’m happy and healthy. No one knows what height or body shape the daughter will end up as. Being told you can’t eat certain things at 13 such as carbs and treats is a recipe for eating difficulties and body dysmorphia that may take the OPs daughter a lifetime to get over.

No one is saying that she needs to be told she needs to restrict food. Just that the OP is right to be concerned.

Just
I'm sorry but HAES is a load of crap. It's usually something that overweight/obese people keep preaching to avoid facing their own difficulties with weight.
Overweight is overweight period. Just look at any of the medical studies done which prove that being above an optimal weight for your body is harmful and leads to much worse outcomes.

If you don’t mind me asking, what does she eat on an average day?

I have exactly the same here - she hates her body but won't do anything about it. She used to do gym and that kept it somewhat in track but that went to pot after lockdown and now she won't go as she won't wear a leotard.

She's absolutely an emotional eater and I'm at a loss now as to what to do. I have the same problem as a pp with her dad just buying her stuff like Starbucks Frappuccino's etc

@BananaRama990 that is completely untrue, there are many ‘normal’ weight medical professionals that promote HAES. What is overweight anyway? The BMI is completely flawed so how would anyone know what overweight is? Diet culture is so powerful that we are all conditioned to believe that we have to be a certain weight to be ‘healthy’ this whole post is an example of that. This is a 13 year who is still developing, still growing. But anyway, I’m clearly not going to convince anyone so I’m out. I hope that the OP and her daughter manage to find their way through this.

BMI is not “completely flawed”. For this example there is no reason to think it’s not giving an accurate picture.

You’ve misunderstood HAES. It’s to improve health without focussing on the weight loss side. So, being the healthiest you can for your size. It doesn’t mean any size is healthy.

Being overweight IS bad for your body.

The BMJ are recommending not using BMI in the NHS.

www.bmj.com/content/373/bmj.n941

Sorry, it was in the BMJ but came from MP’s

You've also posted about your DS being overweight.

Do you think you have a problem?

Are you feeding them both a healthy diet when they're at home?

Whatever you do, don't tell them they're fat. That's the last thing you should be doing. But you can be ensuring they eat properly when they're at home.

DD(16) has overeaten in lockdown and gained weight on her face. How can she shift her double chin?

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Sorry, it was in the BMJ but came from MP’s

Well yes. Out of interest, have you read the whole article?

No one is suggesting that the OP holds up her daughter’s BMI to her and shames her.

I would be very surprised if at that height, weight and age her daughter is not overweight.

That’s all.

No because couldn’t log into it.

But it was all over the press a few weeks ago.

www.theguardian.com/society/2021/apr/09/scrap-use-bmi-decisions-eating-disorder-support-mps-women

[quote ArseInTheCoOpWindow]No because couldn’t log into it.

But it was all over the press a few weeks ago.

www.theguardian.com/society/2021/apr/09/scrap-use-bmi-decisions-eating-disorder-support-mps-women[/quote]
Oh. So you’re not a scientist or a HCP then.

Maybe drawing conclusions from half a news item in the BMJ isn’t the best idea.

I can read the article.

The main points are that it is a poor proxy for health. And that it’s justification for fat shaming. I don’t think those are relevant here.

I didn’t draw ‘conclusions’ from it. I read the stuff in the press and ‘drew my conclusions’ from that!

Is this OK with you? Am l allowed to do this? Read the press? Are you ok with that? Just because I’m not a medic doesn’t mean I’m thick.

And it is relevant on here. So get off your high horse.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I didn’t draw ‘conclusions’ from it. I read the stuff in the press and ‘drew my conclusions’ from that!

Is this OK with you? Am l allowed to do this? Read the press? Are you ok with that? Just because I’m not a medic doesn’t mean I’m thick.

And it is relevant on here. So get off your high horse.