How to help DD15

[Mrfoxinabox]

DD has just finished yr10, we've been talking about colleges and options for a while now but she just doesn't know what she wants to do.
Today we received her end of year exam results and she's only passed English, the rest are 2-3s. She's a little down about it but when I spoke to her this evening she just said there's no point, that she's not clever and never will be. I've tried reassurance, I've tried supporting but she just doesn't put any effort in. She's a bright girl, she can do better but she's given up. Is anyone else's teen like this? Any ideas of how I can get her to just fucking try?!

I’ve been teaching secondary 25 years.

You can’t force her. But they often pull round in Year 11. I’ve seen it time and time again.

When ds’s laziness was doing my head in at GCSE l used to drive him to McDonald’s and say this is where your McJob will be if you don’t get your arse in gear.

My y10 was on track for 6+ in all subjects at Christmas and got under 4 in everything. I have nagged, bribed, pleaded, begged, yelled... In the end I have hugged her, told her I love her and that as long as she feels she has tried her best next year that is great and we can figure everything out. I may also have pointed out that I'm not paying to support her to fuck about cocking up a levels, so if her GCSEs do not go to plan I will absolutely support her, but to get a job instead.

I really hope so. She said to me tonight that she doesn't care if she works in McDonald's! She thinks every job is going to be miserable, she's just so negative.

Can we all remember what a mixed up 18 months they have had ? Very few will be on track. He colleges will realise this. I think she's done amazing given the circumstances x

I am aware of the past 18 months, and all that they have missed out on but that doesn't mean I'm going to just sit back and not help her do the best that she can do. I tell her everyday how proud I am of her, she knows that

Nursing. I flunked all gcses except English resat level 2 numeracy and did amazing in college doing health and social level 3

When you say you have 'talked' have you also 'looked'?

It looks as if she is heading towards a Level 2 BTEC, or a Level 3 if she can get up to 4s&5s (or Level 1 if she really doesn't improve at all). (To succeed at A levels you really need to be expecting 6+ on the whole). Other options could be apprenticeship.

Maths & English are the most important as otherwise she'll have to retake.

If she can see the entrance criteria e.g. 3s for L2, and 4s for L3, it might give her motivation as it might seem more achievable.

Academics aside, where are her strengths? What kind of job can you see her being good at? If you can identify that we can probably find a suitable BTEC for her.

I'm not surprised she is feeling down after the year we have had and the heat. Maybe after a rest she can pick herself up again. Did she try to work for the exams, or not?

This could so be my daughter as well who sounds exactly like yours. It's hard isn't it because you want them to do well but at the same time can't force them to revise,work hard etc.