Ds (13/14) is lazy

[StarryNight468]

Argh my ds is so lazy. He's a half a job Bob.

I haven't noticed how lazy he has gotten until now. I don't know why, but everything is too much effort. Last night he was asked to wash the oven trays up (2) I've noticed this morning he's just shoved them in the dishwasher on top of each other. I'm about to wake him up and get him to sort them out now.

We went camping over the weekend, everytime he was asked to help it was too much effort or he pretended he couldn't do it. I'm really fed up of it.

Tbh I'd stick in the dish washer.

Sounds like a typical teenager to me.

I have one the same. I just keep calling him back to do things properly. It doesn’t seem to make him any less lazy but at least I’m not the one fixing his half assed work. I tell him “if work was in your bed you’ll sleep on the floor”. He’s just gotten his first actual job. We’ll see how that goes.

I don’t think my teenage DS knows where the dishwasher is.

I often wonder about whether this typical teenage behaviour is allowed because we say this is typical teenage behaviour.

I wonder how many teenage carers tell their parent nah can't be arsed to sort out your meds this morning or inject you with insulin. Maybe it is our response to these teens that allow them to get away with being lazy or rude. I mean even as adults surely no one relishes washing up or doing laundry. If we could just laze around and not do it surely we would.

We had a chore rota before I was even a teenager in our house. We felt like there wasn't a choice, either do it or get smacked and still have to do it.

We don’t have a chore rota as such but both DC do what is asked like after dinner I say “ok Ds1 clear the table, DS2 fill the dishwasher” and they will. The difference being Ds2 (12) will do it enthusiastically and take pride in doing it well (I fully expect this to change! ) and DS1(16) will do it with as little effort as possible and as carelessly as he can get away with.

I asked them to clean their rooms on Saturday. DS2 had dusted, hoovered, mopped, emptied his bin and brought his washing and dishes down in the 30 minutes after I had asked him to do it. DS1 was still “cleaning” his room 3 hours later. Without any cleaning products. Or a hoover. Or any movement.

@ViewFromTheTowers

I often wonder about whether this typical teenage behaviour is allowed because we say this is typical teenage behaviour.

I wonder how many teenage carers tell their parent nah can't be arsed to sort out your meds this morning or inject you with insulin. Maybe it is our response to these teens that allow them to get away with being lazy or rude. I mean even as adults surely no one relishes washing up or doing laundry. If we could just laze around and not do it surely we would.

We had a chore rota before I was even a teenager in our house. We felt like there wasn't a choice, either do it or get smacked and still have to do it.

I’m not saying I allow it or be he isn’t made to re-do it. I don’t ‘smack’ him (he’ll he’s 6ft and a rugby player so I don’t fancy my 5ft 4’ chances if I did!) but he certainly loses privileges.

He managed to sort himself out and take good care of the dog while I was in hospital for 5 days last week with my DD but doesn’t mean he doesn’t try to avoid washing up or taking the bins out. So I still stand by it being typical teenage behaviour.

He does do chores, and I do call him back when they're not done properly. His set chores are emptying the dishwasher every other morning and making his bed.. it used to be more but we have a cleaner now.

He's going backwards in his laziness. I keep finding skids in the toilet that he swears blind isn't him but I know it is. Unpacking from our weekend camping trip he was very half hearted which was extremely annoying as we all mucked in.

All he wants to do is lie in his bed playing his PlayStation and everything else just falls by the wayside. His teachers say he's clever and able but he doesn't complete work and is now predicted a 3 in math and 4 in English.. because he can't be bothered. I've just changed him to a yr 10 + engineering focused school as he does like doing things with his hands when he's actually interested in the subject.

He's also gotten really annoying! If he's not in his room he's winding dd up and then screeching about it being dds fault. I've signed him up for youth club activities every Tuesday and Thurs through the holidays.

(P.S - he is quite lovely and does have a good heart, I don't hate him, I'm just finding him frustrating at the moment. I know it could be worse, he could be out drinking and involved in criminal activities but I'm still worried about how lazy he is and finding it annoying)

Many teens have passed through my hands op... Ime and especially in boys - they don't see the same mess as we do!! Lists are your assistants!!
Ds 12 thrives on a list!!
Currently awaiting adhd discussions but he seriously can't manage without a list and a pen to tick each thing off..
All rubbish in bin
All dirty clothes in basket.
All clean dishes away.
More details the better....
My adult dc - even ds's - run their own homes more than acceptably too!!

@30degreesandmeltinghere

He has a list, a massive list on the back of his door with things like - morning, shower, put deodorant on, make bed, open window, put dirty clothes in basket, hang towel up - after school - tidy room, shower, deodorant, dirty clothes away, set morning alarm. He does it for a bit but slacks off after a week or so, arghhh