how woild you feel about yor ds smoking?

[auntymandy]

think Ds does and not happy.am I been silly?

i would be very angry. he would be setting himself up for a lifetime of addiction that takes all his money/health.

it's easy to start but once addicted a long slog to quit.

I wouldn't be happy and thats because I spent approx 10 yrs (on and off) of my life smoking so I know what a filthy, expensive addiction it is.

I'm not sure how I'd approach my child though if I suspected they had started smoking.

I wouldn't be happy and thats because I spent approx 10 yrs (on and off) of my life smoking so I know what a filthy, expensive addiction it is.

I'm not sure how I'd approach my child though if I suspected they had started smoking.

well I cant stop him can I? just warn him of dahgers etc

I would be very cross.

Almost all addicted smokers start before they are 18

Half of all smokers die as a result.

He probably feels that he can quite before it does him long term harm. But this isn't true.

He may well be doing it out of teenage 'rebelion'. Ask him how rebelious it is to fill the pockets of the tobacco industry who need younge poepl like him to start smoking to replace the 340 people in the UK that they will have killed today.

Oh and if he is lucky enough not to die as a result then there is the risk of double amputation, cararacts, lack of money and that all time winner for men of any age, impotence. Smoking is the UKs largest cause of inability to get it up!

There are some pretty shocking photos out there (in anti-smoking literature) of the damage smoking can do to your body but TBH if he is not ready to give up then its easy to say "it won't happen to me" .

However just make sure he has access to the facts, find out about groups for giving up -some areas run groups specifically for teenagers and will give them patches etc for free I saw on the news the other day.

all teenagers feel that they all imortal. So did the current victims when they started smoking

ask him if he would take the chance if you gave him 2 pills, one would make him feel nice, and one will cause a slow lingering painful death.

No ifs about it.

would he take the risk then?

if it were my son i would tell him that no matter what he feels now, he will become addicted. it's a stupid habit and doesn't even give you any satisfaction (unlike drinking etc).

(speaking as an addicted smoker too)

Why does he need to smoke? Does he really like the taste? Is it more about impressing people or giving him some sort of social crutch?
I think you need custy on this one as her advice re teenagers is spot on. Do you and your ds talk?

if i could go back and change anything it would be that day i lit that first cigarette.

anyway rant over.

And the death isn't the nice romantic, 'And then he died' thing. It is slow and painful and it gradually strips every pleasure out of our life. It is horrible and humiliating.

When we went to the chemo unit there was a guy there who had a trachy tube in. Listening to him cough phengm out of a hole cut in his throat is one of the worst things I have ever had to sit though. Poor guy, no-one wanted to sit near him, it was so stomach churning.

SEA, you have my sympathy. The bastard tobacco companies know that they need to get kids hooked young, before they can make proper rational choices.

I think MB is right they all think they'rew immortal & anyway who wants to be OLD???

Is he at the hormonal lusting after anything vaguely female stage yet AuntyM? It may work better from the " yuk you stink of smoke were you near someone having a crafty fag then?" approach ( but more subtle obviously)

Teenagers can be so vain-it might work from the attractiveness/expense angle rather than the health angle which we older & wiser (???)parents worry about!

Good luck!

how woudl i feel? i woudl be angry, upset and worried, for all the reasons everyone else has given

i suspect i woudl also feel a bit powerless, as most teenaged boys dont listen to their parents

i suspect that he will be more influenced by the health effects that occur now, rather than those that could affect him, in years to come eg cancer, heart disease

also social things, like how expensive it is and that it REALLY puts off girls

yes we talk! loads infact. he obviously thinks i over react. doesnt smoke around me as I asked him not to, or in the house

x posted with bossy!

although this doesnt makr much difference.. he is 17

I'm not totaly convinced that shocking posters work. But if you want one, this is one of the most shocking

here

tell him it's much easier not to smoke than to suddenly wake up addicted to the stuff.

the addicted starts quickly and once hooked, so hard to stop.

Does he work? Or does he get his money from you?

If you fund him in any way, stop. If he wants to smoke that badly then he'll have to try much harder to do so by getting a job etc...

If he has enough money to start smoking then I think it might be about time to start paying you housekeeping?

I stopped my dad smoking (at the age of 50) when I took him to meet an elderly man with emphysema who was on constant oxygen. I ended up sobbing in the corridor about how I never wanted that to be him. Sadly, my dad now has early mild breathing problems and is seeing a specialist so he stopped too late, but at least he stopped.

I know its not the nicest of approaches, but that shock stopped him when all else had failed.

everyone who smokes should imagine the converstion that they will have to have with their children when they need to tell them that they are dying.

Dh and I have had to have this conversation with our children. It is the worst thing you can imagine. And Dh has a cancer through no fault of his own.

Imagine how it must feel to put your children through all that pain, knowing that you effectivly 'did it to yourself'

@ Kristina! great minds!

Aunty M at 17 they know everything & you know nothing so it's a thankless task I believe!! ( I'm not quite at that stage yet but getting close!)

If you have lots of talks then that's a bonus, just keep the good relationship going & hopefully he'll make that healthy choice himself but it has to be his choice !

Difficult but good luck!

Sadly it seems to be a huge majority that smoke atm. And the girls - in fact even more of the girls. I am a life long non-smoker. HATE it. My DH is a recovering alcoholic so have to put up with him smoking and now DS1 (17) smokes. DS2 (15) I hope will not!!