I have posted about my son before - he was a physically abusive school refuser and drug taker. We went through a living hell for a number years 14-17.
He is now 18. He has lived at my mums for a year or so. Between us we just about kept him in school and he look likely to have achieved good A Levels. He has got a good full time office job since leaving school and has a girlfriend. He still smokes some dope but no other drug use. Sounds like a success story. However it is not.
We have long suspected autism but he would not cooperate for any diagnosis. He is no longer physically abusive but he is verbally abusive fairly constantly to my mom and I. He makes constant demands and if these are not immediately met or met to his satisfaction) by my mum (food, lifts etc) he flies into a rage. He was sweating at work and came to our house at lunchtime to get deodorant. We were just back from holiday and it was all in the cases - we were out and weren’t expecting him - he phoned and messages me tirades of abuse calling us ‘dirty c...ts’. He apologised but next day same again. His dad no longer engages with him at all as he was physically badly assaulted by him in the past and isn’t very well.
I think we need to force him to move out of my mums as I am worried sick about her. We have said we will pay half each rent for an apartment for him. He is of course refusing any co-operation and says let’s see you get me out. I don’t want involve the police and maybe lose him his job etc. Threats of police etc do no good.
Just looking for any advice- very tired and destroyed by years of this.