What do you say to a 16yr old who has just told you she is sexually active.

[feebeecat]

Pretty much covered in title - 16yr old dd has just told me she and her boyfriend have started having sex, only a couple of times, only if they both agree and they are using condoms. She told me she didn’t want to lie to me about it. I told her we needed to have a serious conversation about contraception and book GP appointment - she wants to think about that some more.
She’s now gone back upstairs and I want to run and shove my head into the nearest bucket of sand! Think I held it together, but bloody hell, I miss the toddler days
What should I be doing now - this is all very new territory, not something I would ever mention to my mum - even now

Also, is there a free condoms scheme where you are? They give out a stack at a time so no reason ever to run out.

I hope when the time comes my DD feels comfortable and trusting enough to come to me in the way, OP. You should feel really proud of your relationship with her.

I think I would feel the same as you OP, I would want to stick my head in sand also! My DD is also 16, It's hard to think (or know!) that they are sexually active when it feels like they were just babies only yesterday

@Bin85

Just condoms isn't enough.

Oi.

Hormonal birth control isn't for everyone.

Daughter can decide and try wear she's comfortable with. She sounds sensible enough to understand risk etc. None of this 'that's not enough' business.

Your response and the fact that your DD is willing to have a conversation with you is admirable.

Just make sure you do have the GP appointment.

Just condoms is fine, in fact I'd far rather a teenager was using condoms than any other form of contraception because of the protection against STDs. And the pill can really supress sexual desire, far better for her to explore her sexuality using condoms which won't interfere with her body.

I was a teenager in the 80s and so used condoms until my 40s. Incidentally, Gen X, having grown up with the spectre of HIV and so used condoms all the time when young have had far lower incidence of STDs than younger generations. My friends generally only stopped using condoms once they were living with someone, I had quite a few conversations about it in the 90s and early 2000s!). I averaged an accident about once a decade and took the morning after pill (until my 40s when I finally got the copper coil). Make sure she knows to tell you if she has an accident with a condom as soon as possible so you can take her to the chemist for the morning after pill.

My 16 year old is. Shes got a coil as the pill, patch nd iimplantwerent right for her. It honestly doenst bother me. She's been with her boyfriend a year and a half and was sensible enough to tell me. Its just a part of being in a relationship and growing up and its good that she's exploring sexually with someone she trusts and is in a relationship with. Jusy don't overthink it and get her on contraceptives.

She sounds very responsible and its great that she can come to you like that.

Totally natural to feel the way you do though, OP

Thanks all - really appreciate the advice. She’s a good kid and I always hoped she would be able to talk to me this way - something I never had with my mum - think I still will have a small scream inside when she does though
GP appointment booked for next week, we shall take it from there I guess - I may be back for another shriek then!

It can be hard when they are growing up, not your little baby any more, but it sounds as though you have a good relationship. She and he are also sensible using condoms.