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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Preston!

26 replies

BlitzenandMikey · 05/07/2021 20:14

DD is 16.5.
She and a mate want to go to Preston (we live in Cheshire ) for a few days. They want to go to Blackpool and a water park.

I asked DD where they are going to sleep. Apparantly at the mates mates house (who is a allegedly a lad). DD's mate has not met this lad in real life, just social media. DD's mate has said she has planned to sleep with this lad when they are up there! Mate is also very streetwise, likes a drink, a bit of weed and boys!

I am very very relucatant to let DD go. I have talked though EVERY possible scenerio to try and make DD realise this is a bad idea in my view.

The alleged plan is to have fun in Blackpool. I am worried that DD could run into trouble whilst she is there.

I have suggested they all stay in a hotel in Blackpool. No one can afford that apparantly. I suggested that just DD and mate go away together for a few days (no guarantee that will happen).
I have asked DD if I can speak to her mates mum, to check arrangements (no, that is a childish thing to do I am told).

So, I don't want her to go.

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
mnahmnah · 05/07/2021 20:15

No. Just no. The idea fills me with horror!

Kanaloa · 05/07/2021 20:18

That sounds like an awful idea. She’s never even met this boy, he could be literally anyone. It’s hard though as she’s 16, it will be difficult to stop her if she just says no and leaves. It would be better to keep open communication so she feels she can contact you.

Kitkatchunkyplease · 05/07/2021 20:20

No!

GuyFawkesDay · 05/07/2021 20:22

As someone from there, no.
Just no! I got up to way too much dodgy stuff as a teen.
Preston to Blackpool is a train journey (last train isn't that late) or expensive cab and Blackpool can be really iffy if you don't know the place well!!

inmyslippers · 05/07/2021 20:25

No that's a half story 🤣

Serenschintte · 05/07/2021 20:25

Absolutely not. There are friends I would allow DS to go away with and friends I would not. At 16 they are still young

HundredMilesAnHour · 05/07/2021 20:25

Definitely not.

Sounds like her mate could easily abandon her if she's loved up with this boy and/or the 'boy' could turn out to be an old man for all they know.

If they want to go to Blackpool / a water park, you live close enough for them to go for just the day. Staying over in Preston is just so the mate can be with this 'boy'. And where does that leave your daughter?! There's no other reason you'd go Preston (and I grew up in that area so trust me, I know)

Blindleadingtheblind · 05/07/2021 20:28

It's a no from me.

XiCi · 05/07/2021 20:29

God no, all of it just sounds horrendous. Staying at some lads house they don't know, who knows what other mates he might have round, whether they'll have drugs, get wasted - potential for bad things to happen at that young age pretty high. And night out in Blackpool at 16? No chance. It is really fucking rough. Really rough.

XiCi · 05/07/2021 20:32

Can't even believe you'd entertain it for a second tbh

Foobydoo · 05/07/2021 20:33

Absolutely no way would I allow this.
It would be bad enough if they were staying with a proper friend but someone off social media who could be anyone no way.
Definitely speak to friends mum too, the risks are too high.

Midnightstar76 · 05/07/2021 20:45

No I live near Preston and I wouldn’t and most certainly not Blackpool. Went shopping in Preston the other week as DD age 13 wanted to go shopping and it was so run down, not a great deal of choice and not a place I would like my daughter to just hang out. Loads of dodgy characters and Blackpool behind the front enough said. Needless to say DD said she wished we had gone to the Trafford centre instead

Kanaloa · 05/07/2021 20:46

I think it being Preston/Blackpool is really the lesser problem, considering she’s going to meet a total stranger with a friend who drinks and smoked weed.

Original poster
BlitzenandMikey · 05/07/2021 20:47

Thanks. It’s a no.
God it has hairs standing on the end of my neck thinking about it.

OP posts:
TotorosCatBus · 05/07/2021 20:57

Going away is fine but this lad could be an old man living with other grown men which could get dangerous especially with alcohol or drugs potentially added to the mix. It would be a no from me

OneMamaAndHerGirl · 05/07/2021 21:12

Like fuck would I allow this! And I’m a lenient parent! I got a bad feeling just from reading this

upsideoxide · 06/07/2021 06:52

Tell her no. But you do need to let her go away with a friend for a night or two soon

I went to Magaluf aged 17 with 2 mates. She's nearly an adult. She needs to learn how to be one

Imapotato · 06/07/2021 08:26

Absolutely no freaking way. That lad they’ve never met could be anyone for all they know! Seriously?!

mommabear2386 · 06/07/2021 08:59

Hell no, I'd be pulling the parental card on the one. No discussion or negotiations it sounds nit but but trouble x

BunnyRuddington · 06/07/2021 09:01

Glad you've said no. I don't think it's Blackpool itself that's the problem, it's staying over at a bloke's house that she's never met and the fact that her DF is clearly going to get wasters and dump her in her own to go with him.

XiCi · 06/07/2021 11:02

I would also be trying to encourage my teen dd away from a friend that does drugs and plans weekends away to fuck random men that she has met online. Its not someone I'd want my dd associating with at 16.

Original poster
BlitzenandMikey · 06/07/2021 18:07

I agree, it’s a disaster waiting to happen. DD is adamant she wants to go!! Why? Because she just can’t see the potential risks sadly. I’ve raised every eventuality with her.
She said she has face timed the boy and she has an address for him now. But even so, it’s a no. I said no issues with her and mate going away for a couple of days, but In safe accommodation!

As many of you have mentioned, 16 is very young still.

OP posts:
SuperCaliFragalistic · 06/07/2021 18:14

Sounds like an absolute disaster but at 16 if she just leaves, what can you do? I definitely stayed at some dodgy places when I was 16 and my mum is still none the wiser.

newnortherner111 · 11/07/2021 16:25

100% behind your view on this one.

cheninblanc · 11/07/2021 22:38

No way