How do we navigate this?

[Nix32]

13 year old son. Friends have become more important over the last few months and he spends a lot of time online with them.

We were talking about watching the football tonight and he's adamant he wants to watch it in his room while on a call with his mates, rather than with us.

It's hard not to feel rejected. Am I taking it too personally?

Be glad he has friends 🙂

Let him do what he wants to do

Yes way too personally. It’s perfectly natural at this age to want to do things with friends rather than parents. Don’t make him feel bad about it.

yes, you are. it's natural and I was the same even before that age.

it's still hurtful so I get it if you are upset. but it's not anti-you. it's pro-friends.
hugs

Just make sure all the good snacks are in your room...he'll be back.

He is happy and sociable.
You are taking it too personally.
Leave him with his friends.

we have a footie thread going on @Nix32
join us!!
we are watching both games so chat with us!

Yeah you are. It’s hard not to though. You just have to remember that teenagers are pretty incapable of think of their families feelings. Often it’s not that they don’t care, it’s just that their own wants are by far the highest priority and they struggle to think past them.

Just let him get on with it for now. He’ll become more thoughtful again in 6 or 7 years time

Sounds like he's growing up! This is the aim and it's fab he has friends and likes hanging out with them (albeit virtually).
Maybe schedule something for later in the week you know he'll enjoy doing with you so you can have that one on one time you want.

I also have a teenager. It is hard not feel rejected sometimes, but imagine how worried you would be if he had no friends to spend time with and enjoy the fact that he's having a good time.

I was shocked the other evening when my teen came downstairs to watch the footy with us and not chat online to his mates. I thought something was wrong! Don't take it personally that's what teenagers do nowadays.

be happy he isn't too dependent on you & has a wide-ranging support network?

Unless you think the mates are all bad influence -- unlikely?

You are taking it too personally. I have a 14 year old he hasn't watched a single match with us yet. He would be round his friends house to watch it with a group of lads but most are isolating so he will be watching it in his room with them all on video call. Friends are so important at this age I just let him get on with it.

Yes, you are taking it too personally

It's great he wants to watch the match with his friends (virtually)

This is a good thing. You’re doing a good job. He has ‘launched’. Well done.

It’s okay to feel a bit sad about it, but this is a normal, natural part of teens growing up and you have to learn to embrace it.

Thanks everyone - the reassurance is very helpful!

our oldest 4 our teenagers, put them all together and you get a decent amount of interaction 🤣

Just resurrecting this - my 13 year old has never been the greatest communicator and it's rare that he shows any emotion/enthusiasm about anything, although he seems happy and says he is when asked. Talking to him is such hard work! He'll chat about football and Xbox, but it wouldn't occur to him to start a conversation about anything that isn't relevant to him. Is that just 13 year olds?

You're asking if teenagers are self-centred... er...
They don't mean to be.
They can be very kind & generous, too.
it's just there's a lot going on inside to demand their attention.
Empathy comes with maturity.