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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

13yo ds having mates over

31 replies

GreenPlantPot · 02/07/2021 19:51

Our only ds is now 13yo and due to Covid hasn’t had friends over to visit for a long time. He’s grown up a lot during this time , made new friends who I’ve never met and I need help!

He wants to have his mates round tomorrow evening to watch the football. Do I say “you can have x number of friends”? Where will they watch it - living room or bedroom? Should I provide food? I haven’t had anyone in the house since pre Covid so need to do some tidying as well!

Any tips from people would be fab. I am finding it difficult realising that ds isn’t an 11yo boy any more - but a 13yo teenager with a moustache!

OP posts:
KateTheEighth · 02/07/2021 20:00

I have 2 boys aged 15 and 16

I am actively encouraging friends over and encouraging them to go to their friends

I really think it's important that they get their social interactions outside the classroom back on track

We had a load of boys over for the Eng/Sco game and they made fajitas, nachos and garlic bread. They are all coming over again tomorrow.

Imapotato · 02/07/2021 20:04

If they come after tea time, say 7.30 then I’d only provide snacks and drinks. You can have as many as you’re happy to have in your house and they should watch it wherever you’d prefer then to 🤷‍♀️

Smartiepants79 · 02/07/2021 20:04

Have you asked how many he wants to ask, start their with numbers until you’re happy.
Definitely feed them. Again ask your son.
Which space is biggest with the best tv?? That’s where they watch it!!

singlehun · 02/07/2021 20:06

See how many friends he wants because he might just be thinking 2 and you dont want to plant the seed in his head to invite more Smile

Definitely food. And give them the best TV

Onehotmess · 02/07/2021 20:07

Agree with the biggest TV . Get a few of those nice pizzas from Asda and some pop and crisps. It really depends on the size of the room/house but 4 or 5 seems sensible (rule of 6) x

Toty · 02/07/2021 20:11

Mine went from 11-13 in lockdown. It's quite the change isn't it Grin

He's always had friends round though, it's something I've always encouraged. He's an only child and his best pals all have siblings so they seem to like coming over.
I don't 'do' anything though. Usually they'll be in his room, occasionally come and hang out downstairs for a bit, looking for food.
Always a good idea to have some juice and snacks.

Original poster
GreenPlantPot · 02/07/2021 20:12

I sound useless don’t I! I just don’t know what to expect at all. And I don’t think my ds knows either. Normally things like this develop gradually but as it’s not happened for 18 months we’ve missed a huge chunk of him growing up.

Maybe I need to rephrase my question. If your 13yo ds had friends over, how would the evening go? The food question on another thread was useful, but do you just leave them to it for the whole evening?

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenPlantPot · 02/07/2021 20:13

Thanks Toty, it’s a huge change!

OP posts:
KimmyAndMe · 02/07/2021 20:15

Make a pan of curry/Bolognese. Retire to your bedroom and let them get on with it. Teenagers need other teenagers.

sunshineandshowers21 · 02/07/2021 20:15

my 13 year old is also having friends over for the football tomorrow. he was planning on setting up a projector in the garden and having a bbq but it’s forecast rain so it’s changed to him and four friends watching it in the living room (biggest tv) with a takeaway and lots of snacks. we’ve agreed a budget for the food and if it goes over that amount they’ll pay the extra themselves. he’s even agreed to letting his seven year old brother join them which the little one is absolutely thrilled about!

Onehotmess · 02/07/2021 20:15

I’d watch it with them but if you’re not interested in the game, I’d leave them to it!

Imapotato · 02/07/2021 20:17

@GreenPlantPot

I sound useless don’t I! I just don’t know what to expect at all. And I don’t think my ds knows either. Normally things like this develop gradually but as it’s not happened for 18 months we’ve missed a huge chunk of him growing up.

Maybe I need to rephrase my question. If your 13yo ds had friends over, how would the evening go? The food question on another thread was useful, but do you just leave them to it for the whole evening?

Definitely leave them to it. I think you’re over thinking it tbh. I would just ask how many friends your DS’s wants and decide a time for them to come. If they’re coming for tea them pizzas. I usually work on a ratio of half a pizza per child. If it’s not tea time then crisps, popcorn and drinks will be fine.
Original poster
GreenPlantPot · 02/07/2021 20:22

Thanks so much all - that really helps. Especially as I had completely forgotten about the covid restrictions!

OP posts:
notmethenwho · 02/07/2021 20:28

The pizza deals in Tesco went down a storm with my 16yo ds. They come with wedges and garlic bread and stuff.

Even if they had already had dinner they would love half time pizza!
Huge tub of haribo for afters haha
Then just leave them to it.

Aw how lovely Smile

CarnationCat · 02/07/2021 20:28

If I was you, I would let them watch the football in the room with the biggest TV! I would provide pizzas. I agree with the 1/2 a pizza per person, something like that. Probably some pop too. And leave them to it. Don't overthink it. They'll be in your house which is a safe place and good for you to be there at a distance.

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/07/2021 20:28

Ask how many there'll be, obviously you can limit this if you have 5 in mind and he wants 30!
Let them have the room with the biggest telly, buy a few big pizzas from the supermarket, a couple of bags of doritos, a family bar of chocolate or ten , some big bottles of fizzy pop and leave them to it, whilst obviously being on hand in a different room.

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/07/2021 20:29

Haha, cross posted with everyone!

nicknamehelp · 02/07/2021 20:29

At most throw some pizza at them, few bags of sharing crisps. Soft drinks and leave them to it. Minimum fuss.

Kanaloa · 02/07/2021 20:31

They’ll be happy just to have somewhere inside to gather and watch telly. Let ds know if there are snacks/drinks he can have then leave them to it.

Tedthdg · 02/07/2021 20:33

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Starlightstarbright1 · 02/07/2021 20:33

Yes to pizza.. make sure at least one is cheese and tomato.

Imapotato · 02/07/2021 20:36

Cheese and tomato and pepperoni pizzas are a solid choice. Can’t really go wrong.

Ifeelmuchlessfat · 02/07/2021 20:37

Just arrange for all your salary to be paid directly to Domino’s for the next few years Grin

Pinot4evs · 02/07/2021 20:42

Aw lovely! Ask him how many is coming, buy in crisps and pop and pizzas or if you can’t be bothered to cook order takeaway. Id let them have free reign of the biggest living space.

@sunshineandshowers21 that’s so cute about your 7 year old🥰

Hope all the kids have a fab night…it’s coming home!

sittingonacornflake · 02/07/2021 21:08

So heartwarming to read this thread. Hope your Ds has an amazing time with his mates!