Friendship / Relationship

[Ladyof]

My daughter is 15 and has become really good friends with a 16 year old boy. They spent a lot of time on the phone during lockdown and recently I met him. He is a lovely lad and both tell me they are just friends. My daughter said she doesn't fancy him and he used to like her but she doesn't think he does now.

I do believe her and I let him round often and they go in her room, watching TV, revising for exams etc. Would you let them do this or not? I really think she would tell me if they were together as she has no reason to lie.

Well what would you do if she said they were a couple? Maybe allow him in her room but with the door open? Then do that.

I'd talk about consent and remind him you can press charges on him if they have sex. I'd also book an appointment in the family planning clinic

I'd do exactly what the PPs have said.

@Christmasfairy2020

I'd talk about consent and remind him you can press charges on him if they have sex. I'd also book an appointment in the family planning clinic

Jesus!

I've got a 16 year old lad and he'd never come to your house again if you dared speak to him like this.

Dared? He's in her house, he gets to hear what she has to say.

However...I'm not sure you can press charges when a consenting couple are around the same age.

Yes to leaving the door open. And not hiding behind it...

However...I'm not sure you can press charges when a consenting couple are around the same age

You absolutely can if one of them is under 16.

I thought there'd been some kind of precedent where they don't take action if they're close in age.

@DoingItMyself

Dared? He's in her house, he gets to hear what she has to say.

However...I'm not sure you can press charges when a consenting couple are around the same age.

Yes to leaving the door open. And not hiding behind it...

If you can't see how fucking inappropriate it is to speak to someone else's child in this manner I despair. Telling a teenage boy that you'll press charges if he has sex with your DD? Utterly ridiculous.

He would be mortified (as presumably would the girl) and would never darken your doorstep again. And I'd be furious that you felt this was an acceptable conversation to have with my child.

Would it be ok if my DH was telling your15 yo DD that she'd better not have sex in his house? Or would that be grim and creepy?

I thought there'd been some kind of precedent where they don't take action if they're close in age.

I haven't seen that. I know there have been charges in the past but I must admit that I not 100% sure if they do still press charges.

If you can't see how fucking inappropriate it is to speak to someone else's child in this manner I despair

Go ahead, despair. I think I'd quite enjoy that.

I think it depends on the maturity of your daughter - only you know that. If you believe her when she assures her that they're just friends then go with your gut. I think the important message here is that girls and boys CAN just be friends.

It's completely OTT and utterly cringeworthy to be accosting a friend of your DD and telling him that you'll press charges if they have sex.
Your daughter has been open with you about their relationship, show her some respect. You'll soon notice the change in their behaviour if they get it together.

My gut says they are just friends and I've welcomed him into our house, I have a son and I wouldn't speak to him in such a way as I wouldn't be happy if someone did that to my son.

He has been brought up to respect girls and thos boy I was a bit unsure at first but now I've got to know him he seems a lovely honest lad.

Thank you for your views