I can’t get my ds to wash

[ImaHogg]

Ds is 16 in October and has a massive aversion to washing.
I have tried everything to cajole him into the shower but he is so god damn lazy when it comes to his personal health.
A 5 minute shower every evening is all I am asking but you would think I had asked him for the moon the way he rants and raves when I mention the dreaded shower. He won’t even brush his teeth properly.
He tricks me and says he’s been in and comes out with wet hair but I know he hasn’t washed because his towel is still bone dry and none of the toiletries have been moved or opened (D.C. always leave the lids of everything open!).
I don’t want him being the smelly kid but I fear he’s heading that way.
Is this normal for a teenage boy?

I have had one like yours & 2 who take hours in the shower.
I try to concentrate on the teeth cleaning & take comfort that the soap dodger won't get any girls pregnant soon.

I think you can perfectly reasonably say that you will not be chauffeuring your smelly teen anywhere in your car until he agrees to daily showers. Nor will you be laundering his stinky clothes or bedding. Actions have consequences.

Back off and stop nagging. And stop doing laundry for him and tell him (once only) why.
You cannot force him to shower.

I agree with the suggestion that actions have consequences. Definitely no mummy (or daddy) taxi.

I had the opposite problem - both my boys had really long showers and we were always running out of hot water.

If your son is like my older one was, the more I nagged, the less likely he was to do what I wanted. So maybe stop asking him, but definitely refuse lifts etc if he smells.

A few years ago we had a school leaver start an admin job in our team. Some days he smelled so bad none of us could stand it. Our team manager had to talk to him about showering and sent him home to do so. He was a lot better after that!

Stop nagging but say to him that he is expected to shower daily. Just tell him to go up and shower and if he doesn't or there's any fuss the WiFi will go off. No drama or shouting just do it.

My almost 15 year old is the exact same.

When he was 16 I could have written this, now he is 20 and since he was 18 I can't get him out of the shower.

Be careful what you wish for, I spend my life picking up damp towels.

No more meals, lifts, or laundry services for him. Tell him why.

He has no self respect and no respect for the people he lives with and sits in class with.

This isn't normal.

There is nothing normal about this and it's totally unacceptable. If he doesn't wash, there's no more internet, computer, phone, or spending money. What you are asking for is easy and would only take 10 minutes, max. I would calmly tell him how things are going to be, and he can take it from there. Proper hygiene is non-negotiable.

I think the soap dodging phase come just before the half hour showers and the constant stench of lynx body spray.

@Justmuddlingalong I was about to say the same thing.
Once they realise that girls won’t go anywhere near them (or their friends tell them they stink and don’t want to hang out with them) they morph overnight into clean freaks.
I knew plenty of guys like this when I was a teen.