nightmare teen

[ls1980]

really need advice with my out of control teenage daughter 17 - speaks to me like dirt does nothing - disapears to the pub most nights then black mails me into picking her up at ridiculous oclock in the morning from god knows where, just dont no what to do anymore so tired of constant abuse from my own child and where i went wrong!

This clearly isn't something that has started overnight. When do you feel your relationship started to go downhill?

Think about how you interact with her - is your household generally and a place of mutual respect and trust? Do you argue, is there shouting?

To be honest this has escalated over the years always been a fraught relationship with many demands - she shouts I cry. I’ve got to the point where I no I’m weak and feeble as I feel bullied by her but have sunk so low I don’t no how to stand up to her any more . I’m sworn at constantly from the second she doesn’t get her own way and I admit I’m guilty for anything for a quiet life in the recent months where her behaviour is worse and my mental well being due to this situation has taken a nose dive x

She's 17. Almost an adult. Stop doing anything for her.

What consequence does she face for her behaviour? Were does she get money from?

She works part time so has her own money , if we reuse to take her where she wants to go she argues screams and cry’s all night but I don’t back down, I try to be as reasonable as possible with her but o can’t force her to her room she won’t go and I can’t take her phone or ends in a full blown fight

I do agree but when she calling in the middle of the night for me to come get her I just don’t have the strength to say no because of the worry of anything happening too her x

How does she blackmail you into pub pickups at awful times?

We live really rural so no bus routes or taxis without then costing her entire wages, she will not come home from from college and go straight to the pub an hour from our house, then about 10-11 or later will call me crying saying she has no money to get home - myissue is what kind of a mum would I be to not answer the phone, or not go and get her when anything could happen to her that time of night. I no in my mind I need to stand firm and it’s up to her to get home but in reality how can I leave her with no way of getting home ? I get she made her own plans so it’s up to her how she gets home but it doesn’t make me worryany less - she earns like £20 a week and a taxi to where we live would cost about £40-50

Is she going to Uni ?

Can you agree nights to pick up and where? If she is in a particular pub could you drive out there get a drink yourself and then when you have finished tell her you are leaving. Thus avoiding the phone call and dramatics and taking control of the situation.

When will she turn 18?

Time for some tough love.

How is she getting served in pubs? She should be showing ID if she looks under 25. Or if not drinking should still be there with adults. Let her spend all her money on taxis. Might make her appreciate you a bit more

Go to the pub and tell them to stop serving her alcohol.